Page 57 of Lord of Pain
"Violet," he says, easing toward me like I'm a spooked horse ready to bolt. Which is essentially the case. "You can't leave.Even if Jack and Poppy are gone, there's still the threat of the people who know you're connected to me."
"What are you talking about?" There's a high-pitched buzzing in my ears, and I'm trying to get his words to make sense.
"The truck that tried to flatten us? Emiliano Morales ordered it," he says, leaning against his desk. "He's a drug dealing piece of shit, his cartel sells fentanyl all over the city. Protection rackets, petty crime shit. Morales has been trying to weasel into our territory for over a year. He must've seen the advantage of taking you as a hostage. They tried to kidnap you that day."
Roman's voice is fading in and out like radio static.
"So… That's why we've been here so long, why you've been taking care of us." I can't look at him, his handsome, serious face. I stare out the window, watching one of his neighbor's kids climb up into her elaborate play castle in their backyard. How nice to be a princess in a tower where nothing can touch you.
"We're leaving today," I say, my eyes still fixed on the little girl in her tower. "I'll send you the hundred thousand dollars."
A shadow crosses over Roman's face. "It's not safe. I can't let you leave."
I finally meet his gaze. "It's not your choice. If I'm gone and we never speak again, it will be clear even to a swine like this Morales guy that you don't-" Something's rising in my throat, trying to choke me. Stop the words, maybe. But they spill out, mean, and hard. "That you don't care about me."
This part burns like a hot pan and no oven mitt.
"I have to question if Rose and Iris would ever have done something so stupid if they weren't living in a Bratva household where every terrible, illegal action is no big deal. Maybe theynever would have thought of committing felonies if we'd never met…"
Don't you fucking dare cry!
"If we'd never met you."
Chapter Twenty-Four
In which sometimes, getting what you asked for just sucks.
Violet…
If there's one clear conclusion to be drawn from the last twenty-four hours, it's that getting exactly what you want will in no way make you happy.
Rose and Iris took one look at my face when I came up to their room and started packing in dead silence. "We're leaving in an hour," I said. "Be ready."
***
After the final, cruel words that I'd thrown at Roman, I didn't expect to see him again, but he is kind enough to have Ivan drive us back to my apartment. There is another man riding shotgun. He's in his forties, I think, with nice blond hair cut short, the standard Morozov black suit and a pleasant smile. He's also built like a tank.
"This is Ioann," Ivan says. "Mr. Morozov's only requirement for letting you leave is that you must have personal security. He feels this is his responsibility, because you could be in jeopardy because of hiscriminal-" I flinch as he leans into the word criminal."Criminalassociation with the Morales cartel. Ioann is a reasonable precaution until Mr. Morozov feels the situation is stable again."
I want to say no. I want to slam the door in Ivan's face. I look back at Rose and Iris, who are standing silently, arms around each other. "All right," I say, pressing my lips together for a moment before I force out, "Please tell Mr.Morozov-" I lean into it too, because Ivan had already used it. It appears that nobody's on a first name basis anymore. "Please tell him I appreciate his efforts for our safety. But I only have one bedroom in my apartment and I have nowhere for Ioann to stay."
"That's been taken care of," Ivan says.
My brow furrows, where are they going to put him? How did he make arrangements in the twenty-five minutes it took for us to drive from Roman's house to mine? Exhausted, I just nod and pick up my suitcase.
Ioann quickly scans the area, the way I'm used to seeing Ivan and Roman do, and then he helps the girls pick up their luggage too easily. He throws a giant duffel over his shoulder and grabs another two bags in one hand.
I give Rose the key. "Why don't you head up."
Ivan is standing by the car looking glum. It's not an expression I've ever seen from him. "Please tell him thank you," I say. "I appreciate…"
There's so much I want to say. That I appreciated feeling like somebody else was carrying the burden for a while. The incredible sex. That there is more to life than just duty. Or, that for the first time in my life, I felt safe.
"…I appreciate you both." I finish awkwardly.
Ivan gives me a nod. "Yes ma'am, I'll be sure to tell him." Like a good Bratva soldier, he insists on walking me up the apartment and disappears before I can turn around to say thank you.
Ioann stays for an hour, checking locks and explaining the new security panel to me and the girls. Apparently, in his usual bulldozing way, when Roman had discovered my apartment had been broken into, he upgraded the locks and security features.
