Page 44 of Sexting the Pakhan

Me:Someone got me out.

Karina:Someone?????

Karina:WHO IS SOMEONE

Me:I can’t explain yet.

Karina:Are you with police?

I almost type yes. It would make her feel better.

It would also be a lie, and if this day has taught me anything, it’s that lies can turn dangerous very quickly.

Me:No.

Karina:Zoya what the fuck

Me:I know.

Karina:Are you being held somewhere?

My fingers go still.

Am I?

I look around the room again. The sea beyond the glass. The dark furniture. The men outside the door. Ruslan’s coat heavy around my shoulders. My own phone still in my hand.

He said I wasn’t kidnapped.

He also said I couldn’t leave safely.

There is a difference, apparently.

A very thin one.

Me:No.

I stare at the word.

Then add:I don’t think so.

Karina:YOU DON’T THINK SO?????

I close my eyes and press the heel of my hand against my forehead.

This is impossible. There’s no way to explain enough without explaining too much. No way to calm her without lying. No way to make myself sound safe when I don’t feel safe.

Ruslan ends his call.

The room feels smaller at once.

I lower the phone slightly, but not enough to hide it. I don’t want to look guilty. I don’t know why that matters. Maybe because I’m tired of feeling like prey.

“Your friend?” he asks.

I stiffen. “Yes.”

“What did you tell her?”