Page 126 of Sexting the Pakhan

I press the folded blanket against Ruslan’s thigh. He sucks in a breath through his teeth.

“Sorry,” I say automatically.

“Don’t be,” Ruslan says.

“I wasn’t that sorry.”

His eyes flicker. Pain, maybe. Or something almost like amusement, gone too quickly to trust.

The bleeding slows under pressure. Not enough, but some. I tie the blanket as tightly as I can around his thigh, my fingers clumsy, every movement made worse by the shaking I can’t stop.

Ruslan watches my hands. “You learned to tie knots?” he asks.

“I have daughters,” I say. “I can secure anything with a blanket, a hair tie, and panic.”

Mila whispers from the doorway, “Nobody is coming.”

“Good,” I say.

Outside, the shooting has stopped. That doesn’t make the silence safe. It’s worse in some ways. People are still crying, but the sharp panic has shifted into a frightened waiting.

I put Ruslan’s arm over my shoulders before I can think too hard about touching him.

The weight of him hits immediately. He smells like blood, cold air, smoke, and something that is still him underneath all of it. My body recognizes it before I can tell it not to.

I hate that.

“On three,” I say.

Ruslan looks at me. “Zoya.”

“If you tell me to leave again, I will let my daughter lecture you.”

Mila says from the door, “I can.”

Ruslan closes his eyes briefly, as if asking some violent god for patience.

“Three,” I say, skipping the rest.

He pushes up. His injured leg gives almost at once, and most of his weight comes down on me. I stagger, but he catches the shelf with one hand and keeps himself from taking us both to the floor.

Mila gasps.

“I’m fine,” I say.

Ruslan says, “No, you are not.”

“I’m upright,” I say. “That counts.”

He grimaces, breath rough, but manages to stand on one leg with his arm around my shoulders and his hand pressed to the wall.

For a moment, we are too close. His face is inches from mine. Pale. Strained. Older than the man I left by the sea. Still impossible.

His eyes drop to my mouth for half a second, then away.

I shift under his arm. “We find Karina and Nadia. Then we get out.”

He nods once. “Back exit.”