Page 77 of The Laudanum Ladies' Society

She wasn’t sure if he meant it was regrettable that she was married or that the marriage was regrettable. Both, possibly, if his feelings echoed hers.

‘I put that badly. I’m not asking you to be my mistress.’ His cheeks reddened and he swallowed, his eyes briefly flashing to one side, and Gwen’s heart fluttered.

‘I fear that when Ruth is returned to me, she will need care. I can only imagine the horrors she has experienced. I don’t know what form that care will take but I can think of no one Iwould rather entrust her to. I have a fair-sized house and would be more than happy to give you a room and pay you a wage.’

He took her hands and ran his fingers over her knuckles. Without her gloves, the touch was featherlight and exquisite. He couldn’t possibly realise what electrical charge it was sending up her arms.

‘I place no conditions on your acceptance and ask nothing of you beyond offering Ruth care and companionship.’

Gwen’s eyes grew moist. She placed her hand tenderly against his cheek, scarcely able to believe that he was offering her a home, and a chance to be fulfilled. How could she not takethat? It was a salvation that she had never dreamed possible, but the irony that he was offering the role to someone instrumental in Ruth’s plight was a sick joke.

‘I don’t deserve your kindness.’

‘It’s not kindness, it’s selfishness. I do not want you gone from my life.’ He gathered her in his arms again and held her tight. ‘I should never have let you go.’

He kissed her and, unlike the previous time, it was filled with tenderness rather than frustrated longing. And so, unlike the previous time, Gwen felt no qualms about responding fully, letting herself have one joyous moment before her world came crashing down.

She would wait and see what the confrontation with Selina brought, then tell Danny everything, including her part in it. He would turn from her when he discovered what sort of woman she had become, and the grief would almost kill her, but it was no more than she deserved.

Chapter Twenty-Two

The first thing Jenny noticed, when Gwen and Miriam convened at her house two days later, was how withdrawn Gwen looked. Her eyes were dark smudges, and she had a fading bruise on her jaw that she excused with a self-deprecating comment about opening a cupboard door without looking. Jenny didn’t believe a word of it but decided not to pry. She hoped they were close enough that Gwen would tell her when she felt able.

Miriam produced her sketchbook. She had completed four pencil-drawings of different men leaving or arriving at Selina’s house, along with a note of the times– which ranged from early afternoon to late evening. Jenny recognised one of the men as a prominent businessman with a large shop selling everything from ironmongery to haberdashery, and the other as the minister of a particularly evangelical church.

‘Well done. The likeness is excellent, and it’s very clear whose house they are visiting. I don’t recognise the other two, but I’m sure Selina will.’

Miriam cleared her throat. ‘There’s one more. I wasn’t sure whether I should show you but I really think I should.’

She turned the next page and passed the book back to Jenny. Jenny stared down at the sketch with a frown. It was abundantly clear why Miriam might have had reservations about sharing it with her. It was Uncle Conrad.

‘Ah. I am aware that they know each other, of course– that’s how I met Selina, after all. Do you think it’s possible that Uncle Conrad knows nothing of what she does?’

She asked the question hopefully, but the look of derision that both Miriam and Gwen gave her made their opinions onthat perfectly clear. Jenny tapped the page with her forefinger thoughtfully.

‘Of course, this might be to our advantage, too. After all, Selina won’t want these to be made public, and I really doubt that Uncle Conrad will. He might suddenly find himself a little more eager to reveal to me some of the mysteries surrounding my inheritance.’

Jenny handed the book back to Miriam. Their fingers brushed and a little shiver of desire raced through her. Miriam didn’t immediately pull away, and it gave Jenny hope that they might reconcile. She couldn’t forget the way Miriam had held her so fiercely after they had run from the brothel. They still meant something to each other.

‘Thank you, Miriam, you’ve done excellent work. It’s a shame that these pictures will never see the light of day if things go according to plan.’

‘Oh, but I shall keep a fair copy for myself,’ Miriam said easily. ‘Even if I change the faces, I am really pleased with the composition. I think a street scene of the upper-class madams of London could be quite eye-catching in a Hogarthian way. Or perhaps I will change it to Paris. I’m not sure yet.’

They grinned at each other and the glow of happiness that Jenny felt was something she hadn’t experienced in a long time. If she reached out and touched Miriam– a hand on the shoulder, a brush of fingertips on the wrist– what would the response be? It was with some difficulty that she remembered they weren’t alone and dragged herself back to the present.

‘What do you think, Gwen?’ she asked.

Gwen nodded faintly. ‘Yes, very good. I’m sorry. I know I should be more enthusiastic, but I have been a little out of sorts.’

‘Tell us,’ Jenny urged.

‘There’s very little to tell.’ Gwen sat back in her chair and closed her eyes wearily. ‘My husband and I have quarrelled again and my son… Well, the less said about him the better.’

Jenny poured her a glass of cordial, which Gwen sipped.

‘But soon this will be over,’ Gwen said. Her voice was brighter, but her eyes betrayed the sadness that hung over her. ‘Let’s set this aside and go visit Miss Salisbury.’

They took a cab to Selina’s residence. The expense was worth it to arrive feeling refreshed ahead of what promised to be a very delicate conversation.