Page 7 of The Laudanum Ladies' Society

‘I think I understand. I am approaching forty and although my life probably appears fulfilling, well…’ She shrugged, not wanting to share every detail of her life with Miss Rosewood, but hoping the empathy would speak for itself through her gesture. ‘My son is grown and is a naval secretary in Saint Helena. I keep the house for my husband, but I do little besides.’

‘I’ll pay you,’ Miss Rosewood blurted out. ‘By which I mean I will payyou, not the pharmacy.’

Gwen blinked in surprise. Miss Rosewood did not have to offer, but Gwen’s mind immediately jumped to the large bill for Archibald’s surgery that they would need to pay. Mr Rosewood never paid for the tincture, seeing it as a benefit of ownership to receive his medicines for free. There was little point in the owner of the business paying himself, after all, but Gwen liked things to be neat and ordered and it imbalanced the books.

‘I can see you are thinking about it,’ Miss Rosewood said. She held out the glass bottle and gave Gwen an impish grin. ‘Why don’t you try it yourself?’

‘Oh, I couldn’t possibly!’ Gwen exclaimed, recoiling from the bottle as if it had teeth.

Miss Rosewood laughed. ‘Why not? I think you should see for yourself just why it is that I am so eager to try it again. I promise you there is nothing harmful in it.’

She gave Gwen another piercing look. ‘Actually, I suppose it should be you promising me this. You didn’t put anything harmful into it, I assume? Nothing from the cupboard or your husband’s work bench?’

‘Of course I didn’t. I wasn’t even out there. I was in here when I made it.’

Gwen shook her head regretfully. ‘I’m afraid even if I was inclined to help you, I would not know where to begin. I don’t know what happened to change the effect.’

She sipped her tea thoughtfully. She’d been in the kitchen. What had she done differently in here? She’d have to cast her mind back properly and see what she could remember.

From the sitting room on the floor above, the clock chimed faintly, signalling that it was half past five.

Miss Rosewood sat up. ‘Goodness me, I really should go. But please, try it before you make a decision. Three drops will be sufficient to produce the effect I mentioned.’ She picked up the satchel as she spoke and gave a wicked smile. ‘I feel sure you will agree the effects are fascinating.’

Gwen walked her to the door. The sky was already miserably dark and gloomy, with heavy clouds hanging over the rooftops almost as low as the fog that rose from the cobbles– so that there was barely three feet of clarity in between. Miss Rosewood paid the weather no mind and walked off with a jaunty step. Feeling no such merriness, Gwen returned to the kitchen and flopped onto her chair, quite overcome with astonishment. The small bottle was still on the table. Her back ached a little and she was starting to suspect she was approaching the change in life that women so covertly spoke of. A little relief from that would be welcome. She reached for the bottle, then drew her hand back.

No. It was a foolish, dangerous idea. She’d attempt to replicate the accident for Miss Rosewood, but she wasn’t goingto be tempted into trying it herself. Still, she’d better keep the bottle out of sight. It wouldn’t do for Archibald to come across it. She slipped it into her pocket and set about preparing dinner.

That evening, Archibald sat beside the fire playing chess against himself. Somehow, he seemed to have come up against a checkmate he wasn’t expecting, and he scowled at the board. The fire was dying down and the room was gloomy.

‘Shall I fetch you a second candle?’ Gwen asked.

‘No. Waste of money for very little improvement. Blast these cataracts!’

At least he no longer pretended his eyes weren’t at fault, unlike the early days when he had blamed everything from the sunlight that was too dim to the spots on the playing cards he failed to distinguish.

‘It will be very welcome when I can see properly again. For you, too, no doubt,’ he continued.

‘For me?’ Gwen asked carefully.

He put a bishop down. ‘When you no longer have to carry out any of my tasks. You’ll be able to go back to your housework and simply serving customers. Won’t that be nice?’

Gwen was glad that Archibald’s failing eyes could not see how false her smile was. She was not sure at all that going back to her former life would be welcome. Despite the terrible moment when Miss Rosewood had revealed her error, she wasrather enjoying being a pharmacist. Miss Rosewood’s admiration had boosted her confidence, too.

She pressed her fingers against her temples. The dull throbbing suggested an approaching headache, which she could really do without. Her hand strayed to the pocket in her skirtwhere the small bottle nestled. Almost without consciously deciding, she stood.

‘I’m going up to Archie’s room to put away some things,’ she muttered. Archibald nodded distractedly. She didn’t think he had been listening, but he raised his head.

‘I wish you would not call it that,’ he snapped. ‘It hasn’t been his room for a number of years now.’

‘I know, but old habits die hard,’ Gwen replied. ‘Go to bed when you’re tired and don’t wait for me to come down.’

She went up to the attic room, taking with her the small bottle and a glass of water. It had been Archie’s bedroom from childhood until he had joined the British merchant navy at sixteen. His keen eye for numbers and excellent reading skills had seen him promoted, but for a secretary, Archie was poor at communicating with his parents and wrote far too infrequently for her liking. She missed him.

Since he had left home, the attic was used as a space for Gwen’s sewing machine and storage of the detritus of twenty years. Caught by a whiff of nostalgia, she sat in the rocking chair beside the now unused bed. She closed her eyes, remembering the weight of Archie on her lap and missing the unconditional love of a child.

She drew the bottle out and regarded it with suspicion. It hadn’t been her intention to create something new, but her interest was piqued. Before she could change her mind, she poured the dose into the glass and drank it down quickly.

Now there was no turning back.