Page 119 of Savage Devotion
“That sounds good,” I murmured. “What should I do?”
“Cut up the spinach.” She nodded to the counter.
I went to it and set to work as she stood beside me, working on an artichoke.
I wanted to talk to her, but I had no idea what to say.
“How is work?” she asked.
“Uh, it’s work. I’m not a fan, but it pays the bills.”
“Yeah? Pays a lot of bills from what I hear.” She grabbed a few vegetables and added them to her small pile.
“It does,” I said. “So does yours. Are you working on anything new?”
“Always.”
“I probably provide you with a lot of fodder, huh?”
She stopped cutting her tomato, knife in hand, and looked at me. My heart skipped as I took in just how beautiful she was.
“You have,” she said softly. “But I’m open to seeing what else you can provide me with. Maybe a new direction in songwriting.”
I raised my brows at her and swallowed. I let out a soft chuckle. I felt like she was flirting with me, but I was so out of the game that I had no idea what flirting even looked like these days.
I’d bite, though. Fuck it.
“What direction do you want to go?” I asked, turning to face her.
She bit her bottom lip, and my cock stirred in my pants.
“Surprise me,” she murmured.
I stepped into her space and stared down at her.
“I’m….” My voice trailed off.
“What?”
“Sorry,” I mumbled, shaking my head. “For shit I’ve said to you, Rosalie. I never meant it. I want you to know the guilt of my words and actions has been eating at me since they came into existence. I… I never thought anything about you was mediocre, especially sex. Sex with you…” My voice trailed off. “It was the best I’ve ever had.”
Her cheeks stained pink at my words.
“I said those things to you to push you away from me. I believe I’m not nearly good enough for you. That all I do is fuck up your life. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. I blamed myself for years for Fox. And even though all that’s happened with him is so fucked up, I’m grateful it happened because it means he’s still here. I was angry when I said I’d put a hit on him. I would never. He’s… he’s a good man, and I’m so glad you found one another again. I am. But I will forever punish myself for him ever having to leave you for a moment. I take full responsibility in knowing that ninety percent of our problems were caused by how fucking stupid I was.”
I reached out and thumbed away her tears.
“I’m jealous Fox got to keep you,” I whispered. “I wanted to keep you too.”
“I’m right here, Enzo,” she replied, her voice trembling.
“I know.” My chest ached as we stared at one another. “But you’re not my girl anymore, Sunshine. Despite my feelings, I don’t want to drag you back into my world. I love you enough to let you go. I felt that way five years ago, and I feel that way now.”
“Do you?” Her body was nearly touching mine now.
“Yes.” My voice shook, but I leaned in just the same, my hands landing on her hips.
“You’re not touching me like a man who wants to let me go.”
