Page 25 of Wanting My Husband
He clearly doesn’t hear me—or chooses to ignore me with the world’s best selective hearing—nodding and smiling like I agreed with him.
“Alright, if we can have everyone take a seat, we’re going to have a quick word from Liam’s dad and the best men before we eat!” the coordinator says over a microphone.
Fuck.
I hate public speaking, and I’ve been dreading this part all day. Crowds and people are not my thing. We take our seats at the front of the barn, but I’m way too nervous to really hear everything Wyatt says. Something about how proud he is of Liam and how he’s so happy to have a second son now. The room is silent, aside from some obvious crying as he chokes up talking about how much Liam’s mom would have loved Blake.
Chad is next, and thank fuck I don’t have to follow that.
“Wow, really warmed up the audience there, Wyatt, thanks,” Chad starts with his signature smile as he takes the microphone, and there’s a few laughs from the crowd. “I’m not sure if you all know this, but I’m actually the one to thank for this perfect day since I was the one who told Blake about the show he and Liam met on.”
A few people in the audience cheer and whoop as Chad casually paces the front of the reception, looking over at the table where just Blake and Liam sit. They’re both smiling at him as he continues.
“I’ve always liked the idea of love. That there’s someone out there for everyone who’s perfectly made to complement them. That, with that person, you’ll be stronger, happier, and the best version of yourself. But true love always seemed like a foreign concept to me, like something that was meant for real adults, people who had their lives together. Not for me and my friends who cared way more about sports than almost anything else.”
He pauses, and I realize that other than the laughs in response to his speech, the room is still silent. I glance around and confirm that all eyes are glued to Chad.
Everyone is completely captivated by his easy charisma and charm.
“Blake and I grew up together. We pulled a lot of stunts over the years from claiming we were going to run away together to pretending to be sick in school at the same time so the nurse would send us both home and we could hang out.” He looks back at Blake who smiles and shrugs as though that was a perfectly normal thing to do.
Chad turns back to the crowd. “Then we got older and life began to change. There was college, football, work, all sorts of future expectations. We weren’t those kids anymore, but it still felt like us against the world.” He walks over and puts a hand on Liam’s shoulder who smiles up at him. “Until Liam. Liamcompletely changed Blake’s life for the better. I never would have imagined my best friend living on a farm, but I see how happy he is here, and now I can’t imagine him anywhere else.” Blake and Liam look at each other, the love between them clear as day, and Chad walks back to the front of the room. “I’m sure you’ve probably all seen the moment Blake told me he was dating Liam, watched it unfold onLove Without Labels, but I want you all to know that I couldn’t have picked a more perfect partner for Blake if I’d lined up every single person in the world.” He smiles at the happy couple, and then the crowd, who are all mirroring him.
It’s… disarming to see Chad like this. To witness him hold the attention and respect of the room. Chad has always been so goofy and carefree, and I think a part of me has resented how unseriously he takes things. But as I look around at all the smiling faces locked onto him, I realize that Chad’s ability to make other people happy isn’t something to be so dismissive of.
A lot of these people were crying moments ago in response to Wyatt talking about Liam’s mom. If my speech had been next, there’s no way everyone would look so happy. I’d probably come across as cold, where Chad’s a literal ray of sunshine, spreading joy wherever he goes. He makes it seem so easy that I’ve ignored the impact he can really have.
Have I really been so content in my permanently melancholy state that I’ve actually been annoyed by him making other people happier? With him for makingmelaugh and smile?
What the fuck is wrong with me?
I missed some of the speech, stuck in my own head, but I try to focus back on what Chad is saying after another loud round of laughter.
“Then Blake was asking me to leave a professional hockey game in the second period, and I knew right then and there, not only that true love existed, but that my best friend had found it.” Chad laughs before continuing. “It was alarming, really, torealize that sports were no longer the most important thing to him, but I can confidently say that since meeting Liam, Blake is stronger, happier, and the very best version of himself that I’ve ever known. I couldn’t be happier for you both! Let’s all raise a toast. Cheers to the happy couple. May we all be so lucky in love.”
I hold up my glass. “Cheers.”
I was worried about Wyatt, but how the fuck am I supposed to follow that?
Chad holds out the microphone to me, and I hesitantly stand to take it. He also offers me an encouraging smile as I clear my throat. “Well, I thought Liam was my best friend, but if he chose to have me give a speech after those two, then I’m questioning if he likes me at all,” I say, flinching slightly at the sound of my voice echoing throughout the room.
I wouldn’t claim to be a very funny person on a good day, but I guess my attempt for light humor works because people laugh and Chad is beaming at me from our table. That look of pride from him affects me more than I’d care to admit.
“But in all seriousness, I couldn’t have said it better than Chad. I’ve known Liam my whole life, and while we didn’t fake being sick to spend more time together, I’ve had the chance to watch him grow over the years. Since meeting Blake, I’ve seen him become more certain in himself, more settled into the man I’ve always been proud to call my best friend. I’m really happy for you both. I won’t delay dinner any longer than that. Cheers.”
“Fucking hell,”I mutter to myself as I lean my head back against the outside of the barn. I probably should’ve done this an hour ago, but after dinner when everyone in the wedding party gravitated toward the dance floor, I ended up moving to my family’s table. I felt like I was glued to the chair, completelyignoring my parents’ conversation about how great my brother Drew’s band has been tonight, and all the questions they were throwing at Mark about when he’ll start dating again, or at James about when he’ll have kids. Luckily, they know not to push me, and I was able to sit there uninterrupted, staring at Chad.
Witnessing him dance with seemingly every single person at this wedding, ignoring me for once, felt like some strange form of torture, yet I couldn’t look away. I was only able to drag myself outside to get some air because he finally stopped dancing to talk to Blake.
Chad isn’t actually mine. I shouldn’t feel like my blood is literally boiling every time his face lights up while talking to someone who isn’t me. I should let him have fun, dance with whoever he wants, be his normal cheery self. I definitely shouldn’t want to storm onto the dance floor and claim him as that ridiculous H-word to get other people to stay away from him.
But what I should and shouldn’t want to do with Chad stopped making sense months ago. Probably around the time he was on his knees in the bathroom stall of a gay club, offering to help me out with my erection.
I wonder where we’d be if I’d stayed in that stall and let him. I bet we never would’ve made it to the chapel that night. Maybe if I’d given in then, we’d both have already moved on, and I wouldn’t be torturing myself with fantasies about what being with him would actually be like.
“Hey, you okay?” Chad’s voice cuts through my thoughts, and my eyes fly open as I realize I must have closed them at some point.
I stand up straighter. “I’m fine. What are you doing out here? Shouldn’t you be in the barn dancing with someone?”
