Page 155 of Thorn Kiss
Always in me.
“Fuck,” I breathed out.
Anger was as powerful as it was exhausting, a wave that always left destruction in its wake, breaking down my carefully built peace, shattering all my beliefs about myself.
A muffled voice came from outside. I closed my eyes for a moment as I pulled on the mask. It wasn’t a comfortable one but it was the one I’d mastered over the years.
I stepped out of the cooler. “Be right there,” I called. Fuck, my voice had a slight tremble to it.
One more deep breath and I prayed my composure was believable. I walked down the hall, training my eyes on the floor and taking one step at a time as I came back to the front.
“Sorry, I—” I cut myself off as I met Dallas’s warm eyes.
Concern immediately pulled his brows together. “Fuck. What happened, June?”
No.
I spun around andran.I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t be seen by him of all people right now, because if he looked at me for longer than three seconds, I’d break. And I wasn’t supposed to be breakable. I wasn’t supposed to be fragile.
Rough hands circled my wrist and yanked me back. I gasped as Dallas pinned me against the wall, his face inches from mine, our breaths coming out in huffs.
“I’m sorry,” he rasped, immediately gentling his grip. “I’m sorry. Butwhat the fuck?What is wrong? What happened?”
I curled my fingers into his shirt. “I hate you,” I wheezed out. Hot tears started surging to the surface, everything spiraling. “I hate you. I hate you so much. Why did you come in? Why are you checking on me? After I spoke to you the way I did yesterday, why would you ever want to see me again?”
“Because I care about you?—”
“Why do you care about me?” A sob loosened in my chest and I felt like an animal. Wild and trapped and broken. “Why doesanyonecare about me? Why? I don’t matter. I don’t do anything right, I can’t be what everyone wants me to be, I can’tdo this.”
“June,” he whispered, his voice cracking. “Who hurt you, baby? Talk to me.Please.”
Every muscle in my body snapped like a rubber band. I sank forward, but his arms were around me, lifting me with ease as my face fit against the curve of his neck and I cried.
I hated crying. It made me feel weak. I’d trained myself from an early age not to shed a single tear, no matter how devastated I was, because it just led to me getting screamed at. So why couldn’t I stop? Why did my chest feel like it was breaking apart, the agony of feeling unloved consuming me? Every sound I made was ugly and I wanted to stop, but I couldn’t.
“I’ve got you,” he murmured. “I’ve got you.”
Suddenly we were sinking down, but he didn’t let go of me, even with his back against the wall. He held me to him as he sat down on the floor, rocking me slowly.
Fingers worked into my hair, massaging the back of my head in a way that chased some of the tension away. But it meant my face was pressing against him. I sniffled and shook my head, mortified as a trail of snot wet his shirt.
“I hate this,” I choked out.
“It’s that bad, huh?” he whispered. “Letting someone see you like this?”
All I could do was nod.
Evie and Avery had seen it on the rare occasion. Mostly I saved this for when I was alone and no one could perceive me.
A deep breath shuddered through me. My eyes squeezed shut, my temples throbbing as he continued to rock me. Comfort me.
“My mom called me,” I finally got out.
“It was bad.”
I nodded. “She tried to pick Laura up from school today and found out we took her off the approved adult list. She was replaced by Avery and Evie. So now it’s me, Ethan, and the two of them. But not her.”
“Because she can’t be trusted.”
