Page 154 of Raw Notes, Rough Nights

Because I don’t want Theo to hear us.

Except it wasn’t just about shielding Theo.

I watched steam curl up from my cup, grounding myself before I answered. I needed Gary to understand this, not hear it as an accusation.

“There are a few reasons,” I said carefully.

Gary looked at me, wariness etched across his face.

“First,” I continued, “because Theo doesn’t need to sit ten feet away while we dissect him like a problem to be solved. He’s done that his whole life. I won’t let it happen in his own home.”

Gary’s jaw tightened, but he didn’t interrupt.

“Second, because if we talked there, everything we say would land on him like a verdict. And this—” I gestured between us “—isn’t about passing judgment.”

I glanced around the café again, taking in the low murmur of conversation, theclinkof cups, the ordinary intimacy of strangers minding their own business.

“And third,” I added, my voice steadier, “because I need neutral ground. Somewhere I’m not your kid brother. Some place where I’m not Theo’s boyfriend. Where I’m just a man telling his brother how things actually are.”

Gary exhaled slowly. “You didn’t want me storming out again.”

“No,” I agreed. “And I didn’t want you storming in.”

That earned me a rueful huff of laughter.

I wrapped my hands around my mug, relishing its warmth. “At the flat, you’d be reacting. Here, you have to listen.”

Gary studied me for a long moment, then nodded once. “Okay.”

I met his gaze, my heart pounding, and resolved to speak my mind.

“This conversation isn’t about you protecting me,” I said. “It’s about youseeingme.”

The noise of the café swelled around us, a cocoon of normalcy.

Maybe this talk might actually change something.

Gary rubbed at the back of his neck. “I’ve been thinking about how long I’ve been wrong.”

I raised my eyebrows. “That sounds ominous.”

Gary chuckled. “You remember when you were fifteen and you refused once to let me walk you to school?”

I snorted. “I said you’d ruin my reputation.”

“You said I’d ‘loom.’”

“Yeah, and I stand by that.”

Gary shook his head. “That was the first time it occurred to me that you weren’t going to need me the way I thought you would.”

I bit my lip. “You didn’t lose me, Gary. I just… grew.”

“I know that now, but I panicked anyway. Because if I’m not protecting you, then what’s my job?”

I leaned back in my chair. “You’re my brother, not my bodyguard.”

Gary swallowed. “I treated you as though you didn’t know what you were walking into.”