Page 25 of The Order of the Bitter Hunt

Between my failing acting career and friendship, it seems as if I’m the problem. I’m the loser.

They avert their gaze. “It hurts that you can keep a secret from me for years, but you can’t keepmysecret for a month.”

“I know.”

“You should have asked me first.”

“You’re right.”

I don’t have an argument, and I don’twantto argue with Tobey. They’re the stubborn one, not me. That’s one crown I can happily give up to them. We’ve spent a lot of time bickering, butthey’re the only person I have left; if my father is involved in the murders, that will be especially true.

“What now?” they ask.

I press my lips together. “Jun gave us a lot to think about. Not only does he believe Strode is involved, but he suspects my father is as well.”

“Unsurprising. After everything, I’m disappointed in him, but we were already discussing how suspicious he is.”

“I suppose.”

Tobey may be stubborn, but they’re also quick to hop on accusations. I expect them to do the same with my father, and they don’t disappoint.

“How are you taking the news?” they murmur.

“I don’t know.”

“Come on. You can talk to me.”

“I’m… I’m numb, I think.” I pull a blanket over my shoulders and lean into my pillows. “I don’t want to believe it, but I don’t want to pretend either. We have to take any path and, right now, this is the only one we have.”

“It’s okay.” At last, they sit, plopping onto their bed. A sad smile tugs their lips down. “We’ll figure it out together.”

The last few days have been a whirlwind. Between finding the body, the suspicions of my father, and the flashbacks of Amelia… I don’t know what to feel. I can’t tell Tobey about half of these things. Or maybe Ican, but the words don’t want to come out. They’re stuck deep in my chest, and as I stare at my best friend, it feels like there’s a wall between us.

It’s a barrier I created, and I’m the only one who can take it down.

Does Tobey realize I’m drowning? The mask I wear has been cracking lately, with bloody tears streaming down my face whenever I’m alone. They must know. I can’t be this lonesome.

“There’s so much more about my father,” I say. “I haven’t scratched the surface. He might run some kind of… secret society or whatever. That’s what Jun-seong called it. He thinks it has to do with the immortality ceremonies and maybe with the murders as well.”

Tobey narrows their eyes. “And where did Jun get this information?”

“One of his friends told him.”

“Have you considered that this friend was likely Amelia?”

“…No. I hadn’t considered that.”

Dammit.

It’s embarrassing to say, but the thought hadn’t crossed my mind. Amelia and Jun were close, but only during the last few months of her life. I’ve known Jun for years, and I never saw them together before.

“It would make sense,” Tobey says. “Which means Jun may not be trustworthy. What if he’s trying to hurt you? He could want to finish what Amelia started.”

“I don’t think that’s the case. You should have seen how scared he was of the body.”

“But—”

“Stop jumping to conclusions. This got us into trouble last time.” I fix them with a stern look. “You did it with Caldwell, and no matter how much he annoys me, we’re better off with him on our side. We’re not doing that with Jun. I think he wants to help. For once in his life, he’s being genuine. I can feel it.”