Page 59 of Of Curses and Courtship

If it were possible, I would insist we marry today. Just to save Spark. Anything for Spark. The dreaded moon rules marriage, and we can only be married when it is full—still so far away.

We’re running out of time. With the bit of sun shining on our faces, every second feels poorly spent.

Spark should be here.

The clock is ticking.

I need to go to the library.

Minetta’s fingers brushing against mine hardly rouse anything in me. It’s so unlike that first night at the ball, and I can’t shake off the difference. Perhaps I make her nervous now. I want to give our courtship a chance, to see if there’s any way it can work, but… can I truly fathom having a relationship like my parents? They’re companions and friends now, but they’re not in love. They both take other lovers—frequently.

Is that how Minetta and I will be?

“You’re lost in thought,” she says. “Care to share a single one with your betrothed?”

I look at her from the corner of my eye and smile sadly. “They’re not the sort of thoughts one shares, I’m afraid.”

“Is it about your beast?”

Mybeast. That is the technical name for the type of fae Spark is, but referring to him as such feels wrong. Cold, like if Minetta were to refer to me asherSun Fae. He’s my friend and companion. He has a name.

My lips twist as I hold back the lecture I’ve given to others who make the same mistake.

I fear Minetta may not understand the loss. She and Spark never had a chance to bond.

“Yes,” I say. “He has been a good friend of mine for years, and it is harrowing to see him in such a state. Be grateful you did not have to witness it.”

“I am sorry. I would have joined you if I knew you needed me there.”

Do Ineedher there? No. Her presence would have reminded me of everything there is to lose.

“No, no. It is better that I was alone. That is a place no one should have to go. It was not only Spark—it was the rest. The other fae were in such horrid states.”

She shudders. “I can only imagine. There was nothing like it in my palace.”

“Good. If we can keep this curse from spreading, that offers me some comfort.”

Misery may love company, but I don’t wish to drag others into our despair. My father earned the curse—whether or not he deserves it is another story, but it’s his burden. It’s oneI’m forced to carry, but no one else should. Not even my future wife.

“I wish to comfort you, you know,” Minetta murmurs.

I turn to face her, and the slightest spark of warmth lights up my chest. It’s not a blazing fire, but it’s there. She’s offering mesomething, and I would be cruel if I didn’t attempt to meet her in the middle.

Just as my father made his curse my burden, I’m making it hers. She deserves better than I can give.

“Your presence is a comfort.” Why does it feel as though I’m lying? “Thank you for spending the morning with me. Some would not wish to be around me in such a mood. I usually lock myself in a tower?—”

“That is no good.”

“Perhaps not. Perhaps this is better.”

It feels no better. Being locked up with Spark was more soothing than being with my betrothed, and I don’t know why that is. On the night of a ball, an event that left me reeling with a different sort of stress, Minetta was able to comfort me. She can no longer do it.

There was one other who could lift my spirits, but I don’t dare linger on the thought any longer. I’ve already run over it too often, and if I continue, it will create a path in my mind.

Ophelia’s hand on mine is a touch I should not grow accustomed to, and one I can only have during stolen dances.

Minetta glances around the empty courtyard. Her hand moves to the back of my neck, and she floats up to my height, meeting my gaze with her violet eyes.