Page 36 of Just for the Plot
“First of all, if you’re going to learn anything from the books you read, it’s that communication is vital. So by telling her you like her, you can just get it out there in the open. Second of all, getting drunk is a surefire way for people to get handsy, and that’s what I saw when you two were cuddling on the couch.”
“Yeah, that’s all it was, cuddling, nothing else. And I can’t just tell her how I feel. It’s not as easy as you say. She doesn’t see me like that.”
“How does she see you?”
Probably in the most embarrassing way.
“As her best friend’s little brother. If I told her I liked her, it would just come off as, I don’t know, needy little brother with a childhood crush, and I don’t want that.”
“Ah, I see. She needs to see you as a man. Easy. Just whip your dick out, put it on a plate, and say dinner is served. That will change her mind.”
“What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“Nothing,” he says, as if what he just said isn’t the stupidest fucking thing he’s ever said. “I did that once to a girl, and she sucked my dick to the back of her throat in one breath. Respect the plate, my man.”
I drag my hand over my face in frustration, because Nolan is no help at all. “I have a headache. Mind giving me some quiet time?”
“Nah, you don’t have a headache, you just want to get rid of me. I get it. I can be a lot, but I’m also telling the truth. You have to tell her how you feel for this to work out.”
“And I said, I can’t just tell her that. She just moved here, I’m her only friend, and I don’t want to make her feel uncomfortable.”
“Then build that trust.” He shrugs just as my phone buzzes in my pocket with a text, thanks to the plane’s Wi-Fi.
I pull out my phone and see that it’s a text from Bower.
“Is it from her?” Nolan asks, leaning in to get a look at my phone.
“It is.”
“What does it say?”
“None of your business,” I say as I read the message to myself.
Bower:Hope the traveling’s going well. Staying in my apartment for the first time tonight. If your bed isn’t in your room when you get home, it’s because I took it. Anyway, I was talking to Gabby and telling her about how it would be great to meet someone…you know, romantically, and she suggested I ask you about the football guy you know and if he knows anyone that might be interested in a five-foot-five girl with green eyes, bendy limbs, and a very adventurous side?
“Ooof, fuck, dude. She’s asking you to set her up?”
“Hey,” I say, putting my phone away, fucking annoyed. Now I’m really starting to get a headache. “I told you not to read it.”
Nolan presses the button on the side of his armrest, reclining his chair. “My dude, that’s painful. She has completely friend-zoned you.”
“I’m fucking aware.”
“Now, the question is…” He takes off his shoes and stretches his legsthrough the holes of the armrests in front of him. “What are you going to do about it? Are you going to set her up?”
“Why the fuck would I set her up?”
He takes the sweatband he’s been wearing this entire time and moves it over his eyes like an eye mask before joining his hands together and resting them on his stomach. That position does not look comfortable in the slightest.
“I love you, dude, but your foresight is lacking.” He shifts in hischair,slipping into a state of Zen. “If you set her up with someone, then that gives you the opportunity to show her just how much better you are.”
“How the fuck does that work?”
Lifting up one side of his sweatband, he says, “Hey, dumbass, this could not be clearer. You set her up with a real loser, and when she figures out that the man she’s seeing is a total dud and the entire time you’re catering to her every need, then you have secured yourself as the guy of her dreams. Basic math, brainiac.” He taps my head and then covers his eyes again. “You’re welcome.”
I hate to admit it, but it’s not a terrible idea.
If I set her up with someone who’s incompatible and am there for her when she figures it out, she might actually see that I’m the one she should give a chance to.
