Page 213 of Just for the Plot

“I’m giving you some space. I know you need it. That doesn’t mean I’m upset with you or that things are rocky. I can understand when things might be going too fast for you and when to take a step back.”

“I don’t want a step back,” I say, panic lacing my voice.

He sighs and grips my shoulders, looking me in the eyes. “How about this? Give me a second to collect myself, okay?”

“Why?” I ask, tears forming in my eyes. “I’m sorry, Bennett. Don’t go. You’re my boyfriend. I’m your girlfriend. Please just don’t leave.”

He lightly shakes his head. “Bower, don’t say that just to keep me here. That’s going to piss me off. Don’t throw those words around just to throw them around. I want you to say them to me when you’re fully ready.”

“But I am.”

“You’re not.” He shakes his head.

“I am,” I say, growing angry. “Don’t tell me how I feel.”

He pauses, studying me, his jaw ticking. After a few seconds, he says, “I think it might be best if we just cool off.”

“Yeah, I think you’re right.” Then I bend down and pack up my notebooks and computer. “I think I’m just going to go out and get some work done.” I shove everything in a tote bag and then I head into my bathroom, where I flip the shower on and start undressing, my irritation getting the best of me. I take two fucking seconds to answer a question, and he takes that as I’m not ready to be with him.

I’m ready. I’m risking my longest-standing relationship to be with him. I could lose one of my favorite people in my life for him. So yeah, I paused for a fucking second. I should be allowed to do that. I slip into the shower and wet my hair as I hear him enter the bathroom.

I grab my shampoo just as the shower door opens and he steps in, naked. He takes the bottle from me and turns it upside down, squirting some in his hand. When I look up at him, a bout of tears hits me all at once, and I’d like to say that it’s from the stress of everything happening and the unknown of what’s to come, but what I think it really comes down to is that I’m falling fast and hard for this man and I don’t know how to manage the emotions of it all. I’m just not ready to say it out loud yet.

Because it terrifies me.

“Shhh,” he says as he massages the shampoo into my hair. “You’re good, beautiful. We’re good.”

I wrap my arms around him and start to sob into his chest as he holds me, his arms encircling me tight, giving me that warmth and comfort I rely on when it comes to him.

He means so much to me…so much, and I just hope that I can convey that to him, even if it’s hard using or finding the right words. Because as much as the truth scares me, I can’t lose this.

I can’t lose him.

CHAPTER 39

BENNETT

“Honor to meet you, man,”Brody, Maple’s friend’s husband—yeah, a mouthful, I know—says as he shakes my hand. “Congrats on the wild card. Huge for the team.”

“Thank you,” I say as we stand outside one of his pop-up storefronts.

“Although, I’m a Rebels fan, so I can’t be rooting for you in the playoffs. Duty calls, you know.”

“Rebels?” I ask, sticking my hands in my jeans pockets. “Fan of Jason Orson?”

Brody perks up. “I am. Do you know him?”

“I’ve shaken his hand.”

“Which hand? Your right.” His eyes go straight to my hand and I take a step back.

“Dude, you’re being weird and I just met you.”

“Right, sorry.” He clears his throat and straightens out his suit coat. “Sorry, I just, umm, I get really excited about Jason Orson. Have you tried his potato salad recipe?”

I grip the back of my neck and say, “I really was just here to see the space.”

“Right, sorry.” He clears his throat again. “Right this way.” He unlocks the door and opens it up to me while turning on the lights. “This is what we like to call our library space because it’s double insulated, making it extremely quiet from the outside street noise. And because of that, wedecided to lean into a more studious decor, with earth tones, multiple styled rugs, and a variety of furniture that you can choose from in the back that ranges from leather chairs to velvet couches. And it’s one of our only spaces that has a working fireplace.” He walks over to the fireplace that’s inside an exposed brick wall and presses a button on the side, lighting up a fire.