Page 182 of Just for the Plot

When the door opens to the bathroom and my eyes fall to Bower, naked and so fucking beautiful, walking toward me, I know this isn’t a dream. This is real.

I hold out my hand and she takes it, sliding over me and into my side, where she curls up against me. I wrap my arm around her, and she settles against my chest as I pull the blankets up and over us.

I kiss the top of her head and ask, “Do you feel okay? Can I get you anything?”

“No. Just stay here, with me.”

“Okay,” I whisper as I kiss her head again.

I love you, Bower. So fucking much.

I want to tell her.

Fucking badly.

I want her to know how strongly I feel about her, how much I’ve been wanting this, how I’m so grateful she gave me a chance, but I don’t want to scare her away. I have her now, in this moment, and I don’t want to do anything to disturb it, so instead of cutting my heart open and bleeding all over her, I hold my tongue and drift off to sleep, my girl in my arms, and peace finally pushing through me.

CHAPTER 33

BOWER

Why am I still sohorny?

Bennett just made me come so hard that I could feel every organ in my body shake and yet, as I lie here next to him, my body is tingling and I want more.

I’ve never felt this way before with someone.

And that’s why it scares me, why I know I need to stop, but I can’t. There is this magnetic force pulling me closer and closer to him with every breath I take.

When he came to my apartment as I was leaving with Cougar, it was like he stole my heart in that moment, ripped it right from my chest and coveted it, marked it as his. The pleading in his eyes for me to stay with him, it gutted me. But I knew it was wrong, I knew I couldn’t accept what he was offering, but then at the last minute, when I was walking away, something inside me told me to not let go without a taste, just one taste.

Because maybe it was all in my head, this desire I was building up, maybe I just had to redirect it to Cougar, but I needed to know, so I leaned into him and dusted my lips over his, a kiss so light that anyone else would have felt nothing, but in that millisecond of my life, I felt everything.

I felt my body take flight, my heart pitter-patter harder than ever before, and my soul screaming at me that he’s the one.He’s the one you’ve been searching for, waiting for.But fate is so cruel, because there areconsequences in being with him, consequences that marched my feet away from him and toward Cougar.

But the moment I got in Cougar’s car and he started to drive away, I knew it was wrong. So when we arrived at the restaurant, I turned toward him and couldn’t hold back the words from coming out of my mouth.

“I can’t do this. I like someone else, and I’d be leading you on if I went on this date.”

The words just flowed, as if I had zero control over them. And I felt guilty, for many reasons. Guilty for leading Cougar on. Guilty for canceling our date. Guilty for crossing the boundaries I set with Bennett, but as I went back to my apartment to change and take my makeup off, I didn’t want to get into my bed, I wanted his.

So on a shaky breath, I went to his apartment, looking to sob into his arms, but he wasn’t there.

Which, of course, led to fear.

Fear that he was out with someone else after I turned him down.

Fear that he wouldn’t be coming back that night.

And that fear gripped me to the point of making it hard to breathe, so I sought comfort. I climbed into his bed, only for him to return and find me.

From there, everything felt so muddled until the moment he entered me. That was when everything changed. All the worry, the anxiety, the fear, it was washed away and I felt pure joy.

I felt like I was coming home.

Like I found the missing piece in my life I’ve been searching for.

Now, cuddled into him, his breath evening out, his heart pounding against my ear, I know there is no avoiding this. I can’t keep trying to push him away, because my soul is going to keep bringing me back to him. So instead of trying to ignore this magnetic pull I have toward him, I’m going to embrace it while trying to figure out how to make this work.