Page 153 of Just for the Plot

Bower:You really think that’s going to happen? You’re on my mind all the time.

Bennett:Good or bad?

Bower:Maybe a little bit of both.

Bennett:I guess I’ll take it. You’re on my mind all the time too.

Bower:Good or bad?

Bennett:Always good.

Bower:I guess that makes me a bad person, huh?

Bennett:No, I know what I’ve wanted for a very long fucking time, and you’re still trying to figure it out.

Bower:What do you mean a very long fucking time?

I stare down at the text, my heart racing as I try to decipher what he’s saying when, of course, my phone rings.

“Is this how it’s always going to be?” I answer. “You’re going to call instead of text?”

“When I’m desperate to hear your voice, yeah, and that’s pretty much all the time.”

“Good to know.” I head to my bedroom after locking up for the night and flop back on my bed that Bennett bought for me. “So, what do you mean a long fucking time?”

“Remember when I told you that I had a crush?”

“Yeah, the main reason why you haven’t had a girlfriend all these years.”

“Exactly. That crush, Bower, that was you.”

What?

No, that can’t be right.

“Bennett, seriously—”

“I’m being dead serious, Bower. Ever since I met you, I felt…attached, and I know that might freak you out, but I’m willing to risk it at this point to show you how fucking serious I am. This isn’t some conquer-my-sister’s-best-friend moment. No, this has been an ongoing crush that has only grown stronger and stronger over the years, especially as we started to get closer. And then when you moved here, well, I’ve just felt itchy and anxious but so fucking excited because I’ve been able to steal little moments with you. Little moments that have turned into big moments. The kind of moments I never thought would happen.”

“Bennett,” I say, feeling completely speechless and slightly bamboozled.I’m his long-term crush?Can that truly be possible? So all this time he’s been…what, waiting for me? Am I really the reason he hasn’t dated?And if I’m that important to him, why Cougar?This is crazy.“I…umm, I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t need to say anything. I just want you to know where I’m at, in case that changes any of the bad things you’re thinking about.”

Maybe…just a little. Because there was the fear about this just being some sort of fling for him and then what do I do if I grow attached and then he ditches me for some younger model? What would I say to Gabby?

“I guess it’s, umm, it’s nice to know where you stand.”

“Ask me anytime. My position isn’t going to change.”

I really don’t know what to say to that because it’s all so overwhelming. Everything with him is overwhelming, but sometimes in a good way and sometimes in a scary way.

“Maybe…maybe it’s good that you’re on a long road trip,” I say and I can practically hear his disagreement through the silence. “Just so we can give each other a second, you know?”

“Do you need a second?” he asks, trepidation in his voice.

“Honestly, Bennett, I don’t know what I need, and I hate that, because I’m the first person to chastise a heroine in a book for not knowing what they want when the hero is so incredible, but now that I’m in this situation, I have so much internal conflict, and I’m just trying to figure it all out.”

“I get that.” He clears his throat. “Maybe this will help.”