Page 174 of Death of a Mortal

I looked at the closed door of Drayce’s cabin and wanted so badly to go in and hold him.

He’d told me he would let his out if I let mine out… At the time, I just hadn’t known how serious that was. I wanted so badly to see it, but not at the cost of Drayce’s fears coming to life.

“I wouldn’t press it with him, but I thought you should know.”

“Thank you, Bramick, for being a good friend to him and to me.I never thanked you for what you said in that war council meeting before we left base. It meant…so much to me. You, Aerie, Kellan, and Drayce have never seen me as anything other than just a girl—not fae, not mortal. Just me. You’ve never feared me. You gave me a chance.”

“Are you kidding me? I’m downright, shit-my-pants kind of scared of you, fireball.” He let out a bellow of a laugh that got me laughing, too, and after a few beats, we were both clutching our stomachs from laughing so hard, tears coming to the corners of my eyes.

It was as if fate was giving me something to live and fight for once more, giving me these moments with the family I had chosen for myself. I hadn’t had that feeling since Nella. I just prayed to the gods that it wasn’t all in vain. That they weren’t going to take it all away in our final battle, once I’d finally let my heart love again after such devastation and failure.

I’d failed my loved ones and learned to love again. If I could, then Drayce could too.

With that thought, I smiled, kissing Bramick on the cheek before I headed toward Drayce’s cabin.

I slipped silently into his bed, where he was breathing deeply, clearly asleep. I didn’t want to wake him, but I wanted so desperately to hold him, so I lightly wrapped an arm around him and nuzzled into the back of his neck. He didn’t stir, but I swore I heard a slight sigh the next time he breathed out.

* * *

A week passedon the ship after that first night before I even thought to attempt my shadows again. The dampener ring had remained on the side table next to Drayce’s bed, where I’d slept every night since. We were only a couple days out from where we would drop anchor off the coast, according to the aerial scouts, so a somber mood had settled over the entire team.

In just a couple days, we’d be stepping deep into enemy territory.

My home continent.

It was now or never, so after a bare-bones sandwich for lunch, I returned to the upper deck with Sevrin and Drayce, the dampener ring clutched in my fist.

They each nodded to me before I slipped the ring onto the middle finger of my right hand. I didn’t feel anything immediately, but the glythyr’s glow and smoke intensified.

I called to the shadows in my heart, envisioning a tendril coming to life in my hand.

It felt exactly like having the flicker in hand for my fire. My magic seeped slowly and steadily from my heart to my hand, where a coiling black shadow rose a few inches tall in my open palm.

I looked to Drayce first to find a smile on his face, then to Sevrin, who studied me closely as he held out my black sword. I placed my palm over the thickest part of the blade, above where it met the hilt, and imagined pressing my shadows into the metal.

The sword began to smoke and vibrate. After a few seconds, I pulled the magic back into me, the effort more taxing than with my fire, but still not too cumbersome.

And the dark-me didn’t make a peep with this ring on. This made me tremendously more comfortable using my shadows in the upcoming fight. My vey form would only be a last, desperate resort.

Sevrin sheathed the sword and handed it back to me before leaving Drayce and me alone.

“Are you ready?” I asked him.

“Would you think me a terrible leader if I said no?”

“I would think you were anhonestleader. And a brave one at that, to still be walking headfirst into this.”

He smiled, but it wasn’t the genuine smile I’d grown fond of. This one was sad underneath.

I laid my head on his shoulder, and we stared out across the water in comfortable silence for a while.

A thought occurred to me. “What was the point of the cards and the fire in the ballroom the night you came to Ashthorn?”

He ran a hand down the back of his neck. “I’d really hoped you wouldn’t ask.”

I lifted my head and faced him. “Well, I did, so…”

“Many at the base, myself included, were outraged at the news you’d publicly denounced us. You, the daughter of our fallen leader, told us to stand down. So I had to send you and the king a message that we would do no such thing. Let the world know that, despite what you’d claimed, we would carry on.”