Page 171 of Death of a Mortal

How, in the gods’ names, was I supposed to make peace with my inner demon when it insulted me?

I guess it really was me.

If I promise not to hurt the ones you love, will you let me out?

I swallowed hard, unsure whether this was a horrible idea. Sevrin and Bramick were staring at me, waiting.

“Get ready,” I said aloud.

They both stepped back a couple of paces, nodded, and assumed defensive stances.

I closed my eyes and held the dampener ring with its black glythyr glowing in one hand, intending to imbue it with my shadows, hoping it would act as the flicker did with fire magic.

With a final breath, I thought, if you promise, then I’ll let you out.

This thing wasmeafter all. I knew, if nothing else, I could rely on myself to keep a promise.

I felt the shadows explode from me the way they had previously. I threw my head back and my arms wide with the fiery explosion. Flames erupted across my body once more, but this time the fire didn’t sear my veins. The fire was firmly in my control. I just had to control the shadows the same way. I opened my eyes to find I was hovering a couple feet above the ground. I called the fire back to me, and once it receded, I felt only the cold, creeping shadows on my skin.

Closing the ring in my hand, I concentrated on the shadows flowing into it, but it was like trying to control a raging sea.

How do I control the shadows?I asked my other-self.

Looks of panic crossed Sevrin’s and Bramick’s faces, but they held their ground.

The shadow-me laughed again.You don’t, not in this form anyway.

This form? My heart raced when I realized—my vey form.

Are you saying my vey form can control them?

Changeand find out.

I did not like shadow-me. Which, by itself, was ironic. She—I—was cryptic and taunting.

How?

Open your heart to the shadows, your vey will know what to do.

Are you…my vey form?

Other me just laughed again.Yes, and no. Let me out, Naci. It’s time for you to learn what we are.

Gods, I hated this. But I had to do it. This felt like my conscience was at war with my vengeful instincts. Two sides to the same coin, and I had to make a terrifying choice.

With the darkness swirling around me, I finally thought the thing I had been avoiding thus far.I accept that there is a darkness within me. The darkness came from caring. It came from the pain of losing, but it proves that I loved. It is a part of me as much as the good side, and I want my light and dark, my good and bad, to exist together. Because it makes me who I am, and I accept who that is, darkness and all… So I choose my vey form. I choose my shadows.

My body turned cold and fluid. All fear melted away, replaced by a deadly calm. I looked down, seeing the world in shades of black and gray the way my left eye had seen since the cuffs came off, seeing the same magical glow, but it was the entirety of my vision.

I blinked a few times, getting used to the sudden darkness. My skin was black and incorporeal like a shadow given a body shape. I held up my empty hand to examine it, seeing it flutter in and out of existence. Despite seeming less than solid, my other palm still held the black ring.

I was pure shadow, surrounded by smoking tendrils, and I could call them back to me easily. Suddenly, the thought of the dampener seemed laughable, so I let the ring drop to the deck. My shadows knew not to harm the ones I love, but the quiet rage that sat under the surface, calculating, shot a tendril to wrap around Sevrin’s and Brennor’s necks, the blacksmith having joined us on the deck at some point, sneakily watching from the corner behind me.

“You are not loved ones,” I said in a demonic voice, not unlikeCaedryn’s Pyrrath, which was only mildly surprising to me. I pulled them to me, dangling the males in the air in front of me by their throats, feeling their quickening, panicked pulses.

“You…need me,” Sevrin choked out.

The male had a point, and I wasn’t stupid, so I let him fall to the deck, where he scrambled back behind Bramick.