Page 170 of Death of a Mortal

As if summoned, the coffee maker himself entered the maincabin from his room, shortly after followed by Aerie. I liked it when it was just the five of us, like a fucked-up, trauma-bound family.

“Naci just reheated the coffee.”

“Bless you, fireball,” Aerie said before quickly pouring herself a cup, followed by Bramick.

“We have just under two weeks, ten days, I estimate, if we can keep wind in the sails round the clock.”

“On that note, I should go relieve Winslow. He’s been up there all night.” Aerie topped her coffee off and headed up to the deck.

Bramick sat down at the table. “What can I do, Dray?”

“Work with Naci and Sevrin on imbuing her blades. Once those are done, Naci, I want you and Sevrin to continue working on your shadow dampener. No pressure, but we could really use some of your shadow magic if all else fails. Kellan and I are finalizing our best path for the ground unit.”

Bramick and I both nodded, and when we finished our coffees, we headed to find Sevrin on the main deck after grabbing my blades from my room.

It didn’t take long to imbue the daggers with my fire—very little magic, as Drayce said. Now, when I wielded one, I could cast fire, and the blade would stay lit with flames. With just a thought, the fire would go out.

For my black sword, however, I wasn’t sure how to do it without fully unleashing the shadow beast. I’d still never used the dark magic outside of the few times I’d exploded.

“Let us try one last time to complete the dampener before attempting to imbue the sword.” Sevrin produced the black ring we’d been working on for months now.

I nodded and took the ring in my hand, reminding myself that the other ring was securely around my neck—should this go horribly wrong—to shut my magic down completely.

I didn’t want to fear my shadows anymore. And if they were the key to surviving this mission and protecting my own, then I would embrace them.

Suddenly, Sevrin’s “make friends” advice made sense. Embrace the shadows.

With a deep breath, I thought,I embrace the darkness within me.

There was a familiar laughter in my mind. I’d heard the beast laughing before, but only now was it clear enough to realize it was the sound of my own laughter.

Gods, the beast wasme. All of it, it was just me and my own dark thoughts entrenched in shadow, manifesting. Festering.

Finally figured it out, have you?

My voice wasn’t exactly audible, like it was half thought, half speech in my mind, similar to speaking to Noxie. I couldn’t explain it, but I knew it was me. But, like, the dark part of me.

That’s precisely it. I am the dark side of you—the bitter, vengeful side fueled by hate and rage, your shadows given form.

Sevrin had said to befriend the beast, but if the beast was me, then maybe that meant accepting the dark and ugly parts of myself that I’d been running from.

I took another deep breath. There would be no shying away from my power this time.Alright, what do you want?I asked my shadow-self. Which felt weird. Even weirder that I was responding to myself too. Two voices, one mind.

What do I want? To be let out, for us to become one—a being of pure power and ruin.

I can’t let you do that. Not right now.

The more you leave me to fester in your heart, the stronger I become, you know. You’ll be forced to let me out at some point.

If I“let you out”, what will you do?

Just expend some of our power.

I didn’t like the airy, lighthearted way my shadows said that…

I will only agree to it if you leave me in control. I’d rather wear this magic-blocking ring the rest of my life and never use another ounce of magic than let you take over and hurt the ones I love.

Your lovey-dovey heart is a torturous prison for me, you know. Youconstructed these walls around that fragile thing, but it’s soft, deep down. Breakable. It’ll be your—our—downfall.