Page 152 of Death of a Mortal

Queen Seralyth grows sicker by the day, our intel says. I still don’t know whether it will help or hurt us if she passes. On the one hand, if she dies, maybe the king dies, too, since they’re mates (one can only hope), but on the other hand, if he survives the breaking of their bond, he could become worse than he is now. He could become…unstable, unpredictable. Even lash out.

If he dies, the young Prince Varyn would ascend the throne. If he’s Caedryn’s son, he, too, cannot be trusted on the throne. So I’m not sure which outcome is worse.

Even so, we press on. We become the flames in the night.

I came up with that catchphrase, and I’m pretty proud of it.

Varyn’s mother…

I thought of the night in the library… No, I wouldn’t think about that. That was over before it ever began, never was real.

Still, I felt bad for the prince in that journal entry’s present. He was dealing with a dying mother. One he’d said was kind. Maybe her death had set all of this into motion with purge talks and alliances.

When I hit exactly three months here, they made me commander of the elemental squad. This just happened a few days ago, and I’m still only one of three fire elementals here. The other two can’t hit a target with fire to save our lives. Pathetic, really. But they’re helpful here in different ways, so I can’t be too mad.

I now command an army squad of about 200 soldiers. The base has grown so much that we had to build additional barracks and add more training rings. We also finally got our first new Veythryn, followed by our second and third. One is a bird as I’ve never seen before, one is a massive bear, and the third is reptilian—a snake, I think. I look forward to flying with the white-haired avian girl.

Oh, and our first light elemental, too! We think we could maybe use that to create wards that might completely hide us. I’m leaving for a recruiting mission, but hopefully when I get back, we’ll be warded.

So my mother had been an avian vey. For a moment, my mind wandered, creating visions of a great, beautiful bird, not unlike Aerie’s vey, soaring over base.

Andwasthe new female avian Veythryn mentioned Aerie? It both hurt and overjoyed my heart to see the connections unfolding on the pages before me, like a story I was both a part of and excluded from.

I went to take another sip of bubbly wine from my glass, only to find it empty. I carried the journal open in one hand and walked back to the kitchen to get another, then plopped down at the table and kept reading, a full glass in hand.

It’s been at least a month since I last wrote. I had a moment of…clarity and went back to Briarstead. Sailed back across the Elyssar Sea to find that worm of a husband had already moved on. I know I was the one who left, but I still hated the bitch I saw through the window, smiling at Cassius like he hung the moon. Fuck our vows, I guess, right?

But the worst part was her swollen belly. He was having a child with this black-haired homewrecker. My sweet Naci had sat in the corner, so little still, but forgotten by her father, who had eyes only for this…female. I mean, I know I loved Cassius, but a second fae female falling for this mortal man didn’t seem right. Something was off.

My Naci even seemed off. I couldn’t feel her magic like I did the day she was born. Maybe it was grief, perhaps I was really losing it, detaching from this old life.

I thought I should take Naci and leave, but then I felt she might be better off without me, a rebel leader against a crown of lies and cruelty. I live a dangerous life now.

So here I am, sailing back across the Elyssar, bitter and dejected, back to where I belong.

But something about that female in my house was unsettling…

Holy shit, that had to be Nella’s mom. This was the woman who came and went aftermymom left for the rebellion. My mother had seen her, had seen her pregnant with Aemilia.

My mother had come back. Even if she didn’t stay, she’d come back.

In that moment, I hated Cassius more than I ever had. If he hadn’t moved on with this other woman, my mom would have come home, would have been with me. Gods, I hoped this journal would tell me who this woman was. I’d add her to my kill list.

Then there was the matter of my magic… My mother said she couldn’t feel it. Had someone already bound my fae heart to mortality? If she was confused by it, had it been Nella’s mother that had done it to me? Jealous or resentful, maybe, toward the child Cassius had with my mother before she came along?

My heart was racing as fast as my mind with so many questions.

Briarstead was two weeks ago. We suffered terrible losses in our attempt to recruit in Vydran. Worse, when we arrived back at base, I found out that we had been attacked here too. The wards were down, and nobody knew until the Fellendral unit started sweeping in. After their purge, the king of Fellendral began spreading his campaign into Ashenholt and Elyndor. So naturally, we became his biggest target, and he found us.

I still don’t know how. We must have had a traitor in our midst. The new earth elemental has been investigating, says he has a specific ability to feel heartbeats through the earth and can detect subtle lies and deceit. Bram, I think he’s called. But now, our base of nearly 500 is down to 231. I’m failing as a leader. I’ve got to recruit more before the fight is lost. Before the war—the continent—is lost.

Gods, I fear Caelia could be doomed if we can’t stop Caedryn.

Bramick. They were all here. Like this was a story instead of a real journal written by my mother.

I’m going back. Something isn’t right. The queen is dead. There’s a new maidenwhispered about occupying Caedryn in his mourning over Seralyth, and suddenly, all I can think about is Naci.

Cassius.