Page 100 of Death of a Mortal

* **

Some days, despairconsumed me, and I wouldn’t eat or sleep. I would just stare at the wall, seeing nothing but her face, consumed by pain that physically hurt my chest. Other days, the anger won, and I raged to the point of self-harm. Those were the days I wished the beast in my sleeping heart would awaken and bring hell to Caelia.

Twice, I had to stop myself from biting a hole in the veins at my wrist, the temptation to join Nella overwhelming. I had to remind myself that her killer was still alive, and I had to be too, so long as he was.

The thing in my heart had been terrifying and powerful that night, but where was it now?

And where was Noxie? I still hadn’t been able to reach him.

After long enough—I didn’t have any concept of time—I accepted that he, too, must have perished in that ballroom.

So I mourned him, too, sometimes, but mostly Nella.

Rage.

Grief.

Rage.

Grief.

Time passed in this cycle over and over for what felt like a lifetime. Maybe two.

* * *

I woke tothe first person I’d seen since…the ballroom. Round rattled the bars of my cell to announce the queen’s arrival.

I rolled over on the floor and turned my back to her approach, legs curled up to my chest. I had nothing to say and no desire to hear.

So when she started speaking to me, I started wailing, doing my best impression of that damned banshee that led me on this wild goose chase that ended in my Nella’s demise.

When she stopped, I stopped. And when she spoke again, I wailed.

She eventually gave up and left, and then I laughed and laughed. The sound that came from me was maniacal, insane. Maybe I had finally cracked. But I couldn’t stop, my sides aching from laughing so hard, until exhaustion took me into oblivion.

* * *

The prince cameat some point between my misery and wrath. I just lifted my disgusting, ruined dress and pissed in the back of my cell as he stood watching, horrified and disgusted.

Let him watch. Let him choke on the stench.

His betrayal barely even dented the surface of my fiery heart these days. It was child’s play compared to what his father had done to me, taken from me.

He meant nothing.

I felt nothing. Not for him.

At some point, he left. I really didn’t know when.

* * *

When the queencame to see me, I didn’t know if it had been days, weeks, or months since my world ended.

I didn’t have the energy to wail today while she spoke, so I sat in silence.

“I understand you’re grieving, Naci, but—”

“You fucking bitch. You horrible, cruel, and pathetic excuse of a queen,cunt! You let the king do whatever he pleases while you just sit by in pleasant complicity, not giving afuckwhat that monster does!”