Page 58 of Tell Me I'm Enough

Simone: I’ll be at the football game and tailgate party most of the day, but I’ll be looking out for your call

Simone: I love you, goodnight

Tyler: Love you

I roll over in the dark room and tuck my phone under my pillow.

I miss him. It feels so strange without him around. He’s always just…been there. I know it feels like this distance is making us drift apart, but I refuse to let that happen. There’s gotta be a brighter, happier, and more exciting side after this.

19

Simone

I love school spirit, always have. I love the camaraderie of it all and how fun it is to be part of something with a bunch of strangers who are all just enjoying being alive at the same time.

Tents, tables, and trucks are packed in a field near the stadium—frat houses paired up with sororities, student gov, alumni groups, vendors, and random groups filling up every inch of space. There was the smell of food filling the air—alcohol always in the mix somewhere—and outdoor games everywhere.

Lani, Lydia, and I are just out here having the time of our lives, soaking it all in.

I’ve really enjoyed bonding with Lani since meeting her this year, and I love watching Lydia loosen up here at college. Watching my childhood best friend be somewhere she isn’t afraid to just be herself is a gift.

We stop by a couple of the tents, saying hey to some people we know, and meeting a couple of new faces. When we get overto the area filled with fraternities and sororities, I make us stop at all of them, introducing the girls to everyone I know, and introducing myself to some of the girls from other houses. We eventually walk over to the Gamma and Sig table, where Ryan is sitting on a barstool with Ava in his arms. A couple of girls I know from the house are running the tent, and the guys are just standing around, waiting to be needed.

They normally switch off between assigned groups of people to run tailgate days—luckily, today wasn’t my day, so I’m free to roam.

I’d be lying if I told you I wasn’t wishing Mason and some of the other boys on the team were out here, but I know players aren’t allowed to be at the tailgate before games. Mason and I have started to strangely get along, and I’m glad he’s not as much of a jerk as I originally thought he was.

All the guys are a fun time, honestly, and they always watch out for us girls, which is nice. They’re becoming like a little family to me.

After talking to everyone for a while, I grab Lani and Lydia’s arms, dragging them to the stadium so we can get our seats before the game starts. I love some of the perks that come with being in the Gamma house—like on game days, when we always have a saved area to sit in closest to the field.

By kickoff, we’re all a little buzzed and more than ready to scream. The sun is beaming down on us, and it feels like the perfect amount of warmth to get my blood pumping and my energy up.

Lani has pink glitter highlighter on her face that matches her hair and pink-painted ‘A’ and ‘M’ on the sides of her cheeks, Lydia is wearing a red A&M sweatshirt, cut-off shorts, and Converse, with a cup of beer in her hand—one she convinced a guy to buy her—and I’m rocking my custom pink A&M jersey that all of my sorority sisters have with Gamma stitched on theback, with tasseled jean shorts, and pink cowboy boots—just trying to get in the spirit and look good while doing it.

We’re all hanging on the low wall in front of us, screaming and shouting as the boys come running out onto the field.

I see Mason in the middle of the group, running next to Chase, helmet in hand, energy high. He’s laughing and shouting and shoving the guys around him, hyping them up as they get to the sidelines.

A couple of the guys, including Mason, all turn around, hyping up the crowd now with their wild energy.

They love the attention.

I watch as they start scanning the crowd, pointing to people and waving their hands to get everyone to make more noise.

Then Mason’s eyes find mine. He gives me a little head nod and smiles.

I cup my hands over my mouth and yell, “LET’S GO AGGIES! SHOW ‘EM HOW WE DO IT!”

Second quarter hits, and I hear the coach yelling to the bench, finally putting Mason in. I love seeing the guys I know get to play, and I will always be their biggest hype girl.

I start shouting and encouraging them to kick some ass as they line up on the field.

Lydia passes me another drink, and I have no clue where she keeps getting more at, but I don’t turn them down. We’re having too much fun.

She nudges me. “Who are you so excited over?” she teases.

“Just some of the Sig guys finally getting some play time.”