Page 57 of Tell Me I'm Enough

She shakes her head. “Oh, hell no. I didn’t even know he went here until I saw him that day, walking to the Gamma house with you for the first time. And the thing is…my brother knows him, but when I asked him if he knew that devil was here, he told me no, that he can’t keep up with every single student at this school, but he’d make sure he didn’t bother me. He genuinely didn’t know for the last two years and I ran into him within the first couple of months.”

I look at her, shocked. “Hmm, it seems more like fate might be bringing you back together—”

“Absolutely not,” she interrupts. “Honestly, if I had known he even went to this school, I would have applied to another college. I came here because I felt more comfortable knowing my brother was here. I’ve never been anywhere out of state of California before in my entire life. This was a big change for me, but I needed to get away…mostly from the memories ofhim.”

“Shit. Well, I’m glad you didn’t, and you’re here. Please don’t leave us,” I tell her, laughing.

She smiles at me. “I won’t. I love y’all too much already.”

“I still need to know more details.”

She shakes her head. “I really can’t talk about him. It still hurts. I’d rather just pretend he never existed.”

“That bad?”

She just nods.

“Okay, then. He’s dead to us.”

We both laugh, and I go back to searching for this dress I’m obsessed with now and won’t give up on finding.

She stretches out on the bed, getting more comfortable. “Hey, where’s Lydia tonight?”

I unlock my phone.

No new texts.

“I don’t know. She hasn’t answered me. She’s been going out a lot more lately, and I’m trying not to be weird about it.”

“You think she’s doing okay, though?”

I shrug. “I wanna think so. I mean, she’s been through a lot…”

Lani nods, knowing her backstory, knowing all the trauma she went through growing up and losing her parents, her sister, and then dealing with her abusive ex, who turned around and killed himself when they broke up, on top of the bullying that went on her entire childhood. Things I wish I could take from her and carry myself.

“I feel like she’s really coming out of her shell here,” I continue. “I want her to flourish and be happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for her. I want other people to experience the version of her I’ve always had access to.”

“I can see how protective you are of her. I understand that feeling…even when it hurts sometimes.”

I nod, knowing how true that statement really is.

We go back to flipping through videos and talking about school, classes, and everything in between as it gets late.

When we flip off the TV and get into bed, I pull my phone out to text Lydia again.

Simone: Checking in on you. Are you having a good time? Do you need me to come get you?

A few minutes later, she replies.

Lydia: Doing good, mom. I love you, don’t worry about me. I’ll get one of the DDs here to bring me back. I promise to be safe

I scroll over to my texts with Tyler.

Simone: Hey, babe. Thinking about you today. Maybe we can get on a call tomorrow?

I lay in bed for another hour before he finally texted back. It’s still earlier in the night for him since he’s two hours behind my time.

Tyler: Hey. Yeah, I’ll see if I can call tomorrow after my study group