Page 251 of Tell Me I'm Enough

It’s embarrassing how much I want everything between us to be real.

Mason: Definitely not to me pretty girl

Simone: Good

Mason: So what am I getting introduced as? Fuck buddy? Sexy man you’re always dreaming about? Future husband maybe?

She takes longer to reply this time, and it makes me feel suddenly embarrassed for saying that.

Simone: Vetoing the first two for sure. The last one…kinda has a ring to it

I bite my lip, smirking at the phone.

Mason: Simone Sinclair, badass lawyer, and wife to an extremely lucky man

Simone: You’re making me smile so much that my mom and Lydia are asking what I’m cheesing at on my phone

Mason: What did you tell them?

Simone: That I was watching cat videos of course

Mason: The truth shall set you free

Simone: Get some sleep

I shake my head, laughing at her avoidance.

Mason: Goodnight pretty girl

Simone: Goodnight playboy

Simone: I mean, future husband

Mason: Much better

Even though I spend the rest of the night draining a bottle dry, a part of me is blissfully distracted, happily swimming in the thoughts of a girl who makes everything better.

52

Mason

I sit up slowly, rubbing my face. My mouth feels dry. My head feels…off. Not pounding, or spinning, just slightly hazy, like there’s a thin film over everything.

I know I shouldn’t do it, even as I reach down and grab the bottle from beside my bed, drinking from it before my eyes are even fully open.

I keep lying to myself, saying it’s only this weekend, it’s only while he’s here.

EvenI’mnot dumb enough to believe that lie, though.

I feel it. I feel the beast being fed again. And it won’t take too kindly to being deprived a second time around.

I have too many other things to think about right now, though. I can’t spiral into the thoughts about what that says about me. I’ve gotta get up and get ready for the tours happening today, which, honestly, I want nothing to do with.

The routine after I step out of the shower is starting to feel sad and desperate.

I brush my teeth.

Then again