Page 26 of Tell Me I'm Enough

A couple more shots later and a couple more turned-down girls later, I remember that I’m supposed to be finding Jackie, so I get up and start searching in the kitchen and rooms on the first floor before heading upstairs.

She’s probably over the party by now and waiting for me somewhere.

As I’m walking up the stairs, Max calls out to me. “A&M first-round pick right there!”

Some people cheer, and I raise my red cup in the air, smiling. “I’ll see you out on the field when we whoop your ass, Max! Bama can’t touch us!”

He laughs and flips me off before I turn back to walk upstairs.

It’s getting harder to breathe in here, and my head is spinning. I feel like I’m going to be sick. I need to find a bathroom up here.

With so many people packed in this house, I can barely tell where I am or where I’m walking. I push through a door to find an empty bedroom, and then see a bathroom door that’s cracked open. I’m about to puke, and I need to get in there quickly.

I push the door open and come to a halt when I see Jackie propped up on the bathroom vanity, another guy’s hands wrapped around her thighs, and their tongues so far down each other’s throats that I gag a little.

I don’t know if it’s from the alcohol or the fact that I’m watching my girlfriend cheat on me right in front of my face.

“Take your pants off,” she tells him in a hushed and hurried voice.

I push the door so it slams against the wall, not being able to just stand here and watch that happen, and not being able to turn around and leave either.

Her head snaps to me, and I watch her leap off the counter so fast, running toward me.

“Mason!” she yells, like she’s shocked to see me at the party we came totogether.

“What the fuck, Jackie?”

I can actually see the guy’s face now that he’s not down my girlfriend’s throat anymore. It’s a guy from our high school’s baseball team, a guy she used to be friends with.

She rushes toward me, but I block her, moving her to the side as I rush over to the toilet and throw up.

“Damn, man,” the guy says, slurring.

“Please get out of here,” Jackie tells him.

He puts his hands up and just walks out, too drunk to care.

My body slumps next to the toilet, back against the shower door, and I look up at her, at the betrayal and fear in her eyes.

“Babe, it’s not—”

“Don’t,” I say, cutting her off.

“It’s not—look, it’s not what it looks like.”

“Then what is it?”

“It—it just happened. I didn’t—we were just talking and—”

I pull myself up and wipe my mouth on the towel hanging up.

Sorry, I know that’s gross, but hey, what do you expect with a bunch of drunk teenagers in your house?

“Save the shit, Jackie. I know what I saw. I know what I heard you say to him. If I hadn’t walked in, you would have been fucking himright now.”

“No—”

“Please shut the fuck up, Jackie. Stop trying to justify what you just did.”