Page 217 of Tell Me I'm Enough

The noise in my head is finally a little less loud. And for tonight, that feels like enough.

47

Mason

I’ve got arms full of toys, old drink cups, and trash I’m holding as I head into the kitchen when I hear them.

My dad and Rose are back.

Great.

My shoulder burns, still sore from the accident. I’ve been pushing through most days, but the ache is still there. Still reminding me of my fuck-ups.

“Boys,” Rose shouts from the kitchen. “Come sit down for dinner. We brought takeout.”

I was just about to start making the dinner theyaskedfor…but okay.

The boys come rushing in and hug their mom, excited to see her after weeks of her being away.

All I want to do is turn around, set this crap down somewhere, and hide away in my room until this break is over so I don’t have to be around him.

But I don’t. I’ve made it this long. I can handle two more weeks.

I make myself move, make myself walk into the lion’s den, sober around my dad for the first time in years.

Rose notices me first. She turns from the kitchen doorway to face me.

“Mason,” she says brightly. “Hi, honey.”

I don’t have it in me to be polite, so I just nod, and she takes that.

My father walks in behind her, looking like he just left a board meeting instead of a life where he disappears for weeks or months and leaves his kids with a bunch of nannies he doesn’t even know the names of.

“Son,” he says coldly towards me. Like it’s not personal—it never is with him and me.

I look over to see Asher and Easton already at the table. Their feet don’t touch the floor when they sit in those tall chairs, and the sight of it makes my chest ache. They’re still so little, still my babies.

Everything inside me wants to say, screw school, screw anything but being back here so I can protect them, give them what they need. But even the desperate part of my brain knows that’s not an option. Not with him. If I tried, he’d just cut me off. I’m an adult now; he’d have every reason to kick me out and keep me out of their lives for good.

So I play my part.

I have to.

For them.

I place their toys in a basket by the stairs and then set the cups in the sink before walking over to the table. As I sit down, Asher glances up at me like he’s checking to see how I’m feeling now that they’re back.

Something a kid his age shouldn’t have to worry about.

Easton just looks down at his lap. Quiet. Always quiet when Dad is around.

Rose claps her hands once, coming to stand by my dad’s chair. “Okay. Dinner. Everybody sit. We’re going to have a nice meal together now that everyone’s home.”

Weeks after Christmas…? Weeks after not hearing from y’all once? Weeks after I had to step up and give them what y’all refuse to give these kids?

Yeah, sure. Let’s just have a great fucking dinner, and that’ll make everything better.

“So, Mason,” she says as she sits. “How’s school going? How’s…football? That’s going well, right?”