Page 18 of Tell Me I'm Enough

I try to drown out the silence on the drive to school with the music turned all the way up, desperately trying to escape my life…trying to escape my own head.

As soon as I pull into the student parking lot, I’m met with smiles, waves, and fake greetings from everyone. Sometimes I think they just try to stay in my orbit because of the perks—the money, the connections, the route they know I’m going, even though it’s not what I want.

My life has been planned out for me, and everyone seems to see the benefits of that, but none of the destruction that comes too.

I go to the biggest private high school in Naples, Florida, and everyone is as fake as the DHgate Gucci bags all the scholarship girls parade around school, trying to fit in.

Except Delilah.

She’s not fake. She’s the only one in this school who’s genuinely nice and treats me like I’m someone.

I’ve had a crush on Delilah since freshman year. She’s pretty, smart, a volleyball star at our school, and as sweet as they come. I think I spent all of last year just trying to get her attention, even though she was in a relationship.

But once she broke up with her old boyfriend, Danny, she finally looked my way…finally sawme.

We started laughing and flirting a lot in every class we had together. We even got in trouble once for skipping together so she could ride with me in my Mustang down to whatever fast food she was craving.

She’s the kind of girl who seems like she’s never had to try. Everyone likes her. How can they not?

Most of the time, I feel like the background character around her, but I’m happy to play the part. It doesn’t even bother me when I hear the guys talk in the locker room about her, abouthow she doesn’t actually like me, she’s just using me now to get her ex back, about how she couldn’t actually want to be with me.

Funny, because she wants to be with me enough to invite me over to her house this weekend.

I’m still a virgin, but I know she’s not. And I feel like she’s given me every single sign that she wants me.

I think I want to make her my girlfriend.

I’ve never had a girlfriend before.

But I think I’m gonna ask her this weekend when we’re together.

* * *

The week flies by way too fast, and the nerves start clouding every thought I have. I can’t wait to be around her outside of school, and all I can think about is what she wants to happen when we’re alone.

I’m finishing up football practice when I walk over to the bench and look up to see her in the stands, waiting. She smiles down at me, and I see the small blush on her cheeks. It makes me smile so hard that it hurts. Jamie walks up next to me and slaps a hand on my shoulder, making me look over at him.

“Be careful with that one, man. I’ve heard how heartless she can be.”

I shrug his hand off and tell him I’m good. He smiles and shrugs, telling me he’s just tryna warn me.

Whatever. These guys don’t even know her. They just know what they hear.

I grab my stuff and walk off the field in a hurry. She’s already walking down the stands when I get there, and then she falls in step beside me. When we walk around to the side of the buildingwhere the locker rooms are, she tugs on my jersey and pulls me toward the wall, bringing me down to kiss her.

Our first kiss.

My head is spinning.

All I feel is her lips pressed against mine, and my heart beating out of my chest.

I’ve only ever kissed one other girl, and that was in fifth grade on the playground during Truth or Dare. I was embarrassed and didn’t know what I was doing.

But this kiss…it feels like someone just turned on my ignition and revved up the engine.

She takes control, and I can’t help how hot I think it is. She knows what she’s doing and what she wants. And right now, that’s me.

She pulls back slightly and looks up at me. “I want you tonight,” she whispers. “My parents will be out on their date night, so we’ll be all alone.”