Page 148 of Tell Me I'm Enough

“Language,” Rose warns.

The boys giggle, then stop when their mom glares at them.

“We’ll be in my room. If you need something…well, too bad.”

I take her hand, guiding her away from the dining room.

“Thank you for dinner, Rose,” I tell her as I pass by her seat.

“Are you still gonna watch a movie with us?” Easton asks as we’re walking away.

I stop and turn back. “Of course, bud. I’ll set it up in my room, okay? Y’all can come up there after you finish with dinner and your baths.”

They both nod, and I turn back, ignoring anything else my dad is still saying under his breath. I stop in the kitchen, grab the whole six-pack of beer he has in the fridge, and take it upstairs.

An hour later, we’re all on the couch in my room with Honey I Shrunk the Kids playing on the TV. Easton is on my right side, and Asher is on the other side of Simone, putting her next to me with the boys boxing us in together.

Asher moves to lay his head on Simone’s lap, getting tired, and I watch as she mindlessly starts running her hands through his hair, still watching the movie.

I can’t hide my smile, and I’m glad it’s dark in here so she doesn’t see it.

Easton leans against my side, and I put my arms up over the back of the couch to be out of the way. My fingers graze Simone’s shoulder, but she doesn’t react. She actually…moves in closer.

Halfway through the movie, both boys are asleep, and Simone has tucked herself into me, leaning her head on my shoulder. When I look over at her, she’s asleep too.

I should get the boys in their bed…but I can’t move. I don’twantto move. I don’twantto be anywhere but here right now.

I thought I would spend all night resisting the urge to pull Simone next to me in my bed, but it looks like I don’t have to. She’s cuddled up next to me, sleeping like a baby.

Exactly where she belongs.

It freaks me out to feel that way.

36

Simone

Spring break felt like someone hit pause on my life. It felt like one of the first times that I’ve actually just let myself live a little. I finally let go of the expectations I always have on myself and just had fun.

Mason was a big part of that, too, though. He helped me get out of my head. And whatever started happening in Florida felt…different between us. I don’t know how to explain it. Maybe we’re just getting closer as friends. We’re opening up more to each other, being there for each other more, seeing each other be both the wild and free versions of ourselves, and also the sad, crying, miserable versions of ourselves.

Whatever it was has now started making me miss him anytime he’s not around.

Feels dangerous.

I just got out of a relationship…alongrelationship at that. I have no desire toneedanother man. Not for a very, very long time. It’s time to focus on me for once.

I also think he felt the shift, too. And I’m not sure he’s too keen on whatever it was.

Ever since we got back to campus, I’ve heard from him less. No late-night check-in calls or texts, no sending me videos all day that he says made him think about me, no finding me throughout the day and making me go on errand runs with him so he doesn’t have to be alone…nothing.

I’m starting to wonder what I did wrong, or what he’s so scared of.

He’s still around. Still present, like always. But I feel like he’s trying to put some kind of distance between us now that I hate.

He can’t think I have feelings for him, can he?

Not only wouldhenot want that…butIcouldn’t want that. I couldn’t be that stupid to have feelings for someone new so soon after a breakup like this. Let alone someone who is such a good friend to me. Someone I wouldn’t want to lose over stupid feelings you can’t trust.