Page 112 of Tell Me I'm Enough

She stops dancing for a second, and I can see the hurt behind her eyes like it’s fresh.

She shakes her head. “No.”

Dammit.

“Yeah…that’s what I was afraid of,” I shout. “I’ve never been heartbroken before…but I feel it coming, Lani.”

She pulls me back in to dance. “Don’t say that. Maybe it’s not what you think.”

“He doesn’t love me anymore, Lani…I can tell.”

She sighs and slows down again. “Come on,” she says, tilting her head. “I think I saw another shot over there labeled ‘fuck feelings.’”

I laugh and let her lead me away from the crowd of people.

I bump into Lydia as I’m walking and grab her arm to keep her upright. She looks like she’s about to fall over.

Did we drink that much already?

“Whoa, you okay? How much did you drink? You don’t look good.”

“I don’t know,” she slurs. “But…I’m fine.”

Lani watches her closely, then she walks over and lifts her chin, trying to look at her face.

“Let’s go outside,” she says. Serious now.

I help guide her out to the front porch and sit her down on the steps.

Lani crouches in front of her, holding her face in both of her hands.

“Your pupils are fucking huge, Lyd…Fuck. Are you kidding me right now? What did you take?”

Her eyes flick toward me and then back to Lani. It looks like she doesn’t want Lani to say whatever she’s about to say in front of me.

But why?

I frown, confused about what’s happening right now. “What are you talking about? She just drank too much—”

“No,” Lani says flatly. “She’s high.”

“What?” My face pulls in confusion. “Did someone spike her drink? We were all drinking together—”

“No one spiked her drink. Shetooksomething, Simone,” Lani tells me, eyes never leaving Lydia’s. “She’s done drugs before…orstilldoes them, apparently. I thought she had stopped. But I guess not.”

I shake my head in disbelief. “No…no, she doesn’t do drugs—”

“She does…and obviouslyjustdid.” She looks down at her wrist as if there’s a watch there. “I don’t know, in the last ten minutes or so that she wasn’t with us.”

I stare at Lydia, completely caught off guard. This has to be some kind of joke.

“What is she talking about? When did you—how did you? Why didn’t I know?”

“Simone…I—,” she starts, but Lani cuts her off.

“I found her doing them a couple of months back. Twice. Once, I thought it was just party shit. The other, she was in our dorm, snorting something. Begged me not to tell you. Said she’d stop.” Her eyes narrow on Lydia. “Didyou stop?”

Lani stares at Lydia and then lets out this disbelieving laugh. “You never fucking stopped, did you?”