Page 110 of Tell Me I'm Enough

All of that tension seems to fade on the car ride over. We’re back in our groove, singing to the top of our lungs, laughing enough to make up for the entire break apart, and Lani is being her normal over-the-top and wild self.

I thank God every day for these two girls in my life. Boys are great and all, and don’t get me wrong, I love Tyler. He’s my first love…and hopefully my last. But there’s something about girlhood and best friends that fills a part of your heart in a way nothing else can.

We all get out of the car and start walking inside when my phone rings in my clutch purse. I grab it, pulling it out, and see Tyler’s name. It’s late, and he normally texts before he ever calls unless something’s wrong.

“Hey, babe? Everything okay?”

“Um, hey…you have a minute to…talk?”

“Talk about what?” I ask nervously.

“Um, just…us.”

My stomach drops in a way I wasn’t expecting.

I step back a couple of steps from Lydia and Lani so they don’t overhear anything.

“What aboutus, Tyler?”

“I love you, Simone. I don’t want you to be upset or anything—”

It’s then that I know exactly where this is going.

But why? Why now?

I’ve been trying so hard to keep this from happening. To keep…him.

What did I do wrong?

I shake my head, trying to stop the emotions crowding my throat.

“No…not right now. I can’t—I can’t talk right now, Ty.”

“Simone—”

“No, Tyler…I’m out with the girls, and we can have whatever conversation you want to have later…okay?”

“But, I think that—”

“Please…later. I’ll call you later.”

Anything to prolong my heart from breaking. From the boy who told me he was going to marry me at fourteen, not to shatter all the dreams I had and the life I’ve envisioned.

There’s silence on the other end, and I hear him breathe out a long sigh.“Okay. Call me later. It’s important, Sim.”

“Mhm.” I hear myself say it, but I feel disconnected from my body.

I hate the way this feels, the way this hurts already.

I hang up and start digging in my bag as an excuse to wipe the tears away so the girls don’t see them.

“Ready to have fun tonight, girls?” I ask, putting on the fakest smile I can manage.

I try to start walking, but neither of the girls walk with me.

“Is everything okay?” Lydia asks, genuinely concerned.

“What? Yeah. Totally.” My voice cracks, and I know it gives away the emotions I’m choking back, but I try to play it off anyway.