Page 82 of The Space Between Heartbeats
Her response is almost immediate.
Perfect! Take care of yourself!
With one more look at the ring, I open the door and face Mom. She looks like she barely slept last night but she’s put herself together well. She’s wearing her own black dress, and her thick light hair is pulled back in a low bun. She’s still busy messing around in the kitchen.
“Oh good, your tea’s ready. We should leave in about ten minutes. I’d hate to be early or late. We’ll get there right in time to slip in with everyone else.” She finally sees me, and stops in place. “Oh, honey. You look beautiful.”
I don’t feel beautiful. But I nod and reach for the steaming mug. It’s chamomile, overly sweet—the way she always makes it—and it burns going down.
Mom comes closer, her eyes scanning my face like she’s going to find an actual mask fit snugly over my skin. Then her gaze drops to my left hand wrapped around the mug, and she gasps.
“Is that—” She reaches for my hand and I let her take it, turning it so the diamond catches the light. “Sawyer, is this an engagement ring?”
“Yeah,” I whisper.
“When did Owen…” She stops, breathes, and starts over. “When did he give this to you?”
“He didn’t. I found it…after. In his things.”
Her face crumples, and for a second I think she’s going to cry, but she pulls it together. “Oh, baby. He was going to propose?”
I nod, not knowing what to say.
“Did you know?”
“No. I had no idea.” I pull my hand back, wrapping both around the mug for something to hold onto. It’s not the whole truth, but she doesn’t need to know about Knox telling me…about my initial reaction to the news.
Mom holds her hand over her mouth. “I’m so sorry. That’s…just…I’m so sorry.” She shakes her head, not able to finish.
“I know.” I inhale the chamomile, willing it to calm my racing heart.
“Does Victoria know? Richard?”
“I’m not sure. Maybe? I haven’t told them, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“Does Knox know?” She shoots me that look again, the same one from the other night when Knox came to the cottage for Owen’s keys.
“We should get going,” I say, ignoring her question.
“Wait.” She grabs my hand again, rolling her lip between her teeth. “Are you sure you should wear it today?”
I pull it away, focusing on dumping my mostly full mug of tea into the sink. “Why wouldn’t I?”
“I just mean…” She chooses her words carefully. “You never said yes. He never got to ask. People might...They might think it’s strange.”
“Strange?” My tone is harsh and I know it immediately…God, I don’t need this from her right now. “What’s strange is that my boyfriend died before he could propose. What’s strange is that I’m twenty-four and burying someone I loved. This ring is the only piece of the future we were supposed to have, so yeah, Mom, I’m wearing it.”
She holds up her hands in surrender. “Okay. Okay, you’re right. I’m sorry. It’s beautiful. He had good taste.”
The fight drains out of me as quickly as it came. Hehadgood taste. Past tense. Grief hits me all over again. “He did.”
We stand there in awkward silence for a few minutes. All things considered, she took the news better than I thought she would. No tears or hysterics. I don’t know what I would have done if she broke down too.
She checks her slim silver watch. “We should probably get going soon. Do you need help with anything? Your zipper?”
“Yeah, actually.” I turn around and she zips me up the rest of the way, her fingers gentle against my spine.
Her hands come up to my shoulders and she holds me there, her eyes damp. “You ready for this?”
