Page 104 of The Space Between Heartbeats
I had those pitying looks, the tears, the rage on our behalf. Hell, I’m sure I’d notice them now if I gave a shit about other people enough to pay attention.
All of that gets pushed down deep. It’s not what she needs right now. Instead I say, “The lawyers won’t stop, and honestly, you should find one you like. Someone to run interference, deal with any bullshit that comes up…even if you don’t file.”
“Are you going to file?” she asks.
I sigh, because it’s complicated. “Even if I didn’t want to, our lawyers were on it before I was released from the hospital.”
She nods slowly, turning her glass in her hands. “Richard’s idea?”
“Richard’s lawyers. Same thing.” I pause. “He’s very motivated when there’s money involved.”
“And you?”
I look at her. “I want accountability. There were eight people on that ride who aren’t here anymore. It’s not about money. They deserve to pay for what they caused.”
Wonder World needs to be shut down, so no one else suffers this way.
She stares at the ice cube floating in her glass, hiding her true expression like she’s done for years. My own fault for being such a piece of shit to her. When she looks up at me, she’s wearing that mask again, smooth and neutral. “I’ll think about the lawyer thing.”
“Good.”
We sit in the quiet, my hand itching to rest on her thigh. It feels more comfortable than it should with how fucked things are between us. I’ll take it though.
“Looks like your admirers found something else to do,” I say, tilting my chin toward the pair making their way to the pool table in the back.
She reaches over and steals a sip of my beer without asking. Little thief. The move is so familiar, though, I can’t help but smirk. She always stole my beers when she was fifteen or sixteen at whatever family function we were all pretending to enjoy. With her, it’s always been like this…like no time has passed, even though it may as well be a lifetime.
“I told you I didn’t need a big strong man to babysit me.”
I swipe my beer back, feeling sparks where our fingers touch. “All I’m hearing is that you think I’m big and strong.”
“No—I didn’t?—”
“Too late. You think I’m hot and now you can’t take it back.” She narrows her eyes, probably thinking of all the comebacks tobruise my ego. I don’t let her. “And I know you’re relieved I’m here. So, you’re welcome.”
“I’m not relieved. Quite the opposite.”
“You look relieved. See that aggravated scowl?” I brush my fingertip along the edge of her lips. “Relief, if I ever saw it.”
She sighs hard. “This is a scowl of exasperation.”
“It’s relief and you’re welcome.”
She rolls her eyes, but there’s something softer underneath it now than there was when I first got here. The vodka cranberries probably helped. Hopefully this—whatever we’re doing—helped too.
She checks her phone, and her shoulders sag slightly. It’s like she’s going back to default mode, after a few precious minutes of vulnerability. “I should go. I have an early shift.”
“I’ll walk you out.”
“I don’t need?—”
“The fuck you don’t.” I ignore her annoyed sigh and put cash on the bar before she can reach for hers. “I’m parked right next to you anyway.”
I walk right behind her, my favorite spot. Her hair sways, sending a hint of strawberry shampoo my way. When we get outside, she wraps her arms around herself and it takes everything in me not to pull the shirt off my back and wrap her in it.
When she stops at her car, she turns to face me, and in the dim light she almost looks like the Sawyer I grew up with. Hopeful but held back.
“This was weird,” she says. “Us, hanging out.”
