Page 160 of Make Us Yours
“No. Just this morning you tore your arms open because he was holding you with his hands! And now you want us to restrain you with these? No, fuck that shit. You’re not ready for this, Vixen, and it’s completely okay if you never are. But don’t force yourself just to what? Prove a point? Please us? No. I’m not doing it.”
“We’d need a safe word, something you could tell us if it gets too real for you,” Noah suddenly says, and my jaw nearly hits the floor.
“You can’t seriously be entertaining this idea! Noh! You saw her this morning, you know as much as I do that she’s nowhere close to ready for this bullshit mentally.”
“But I am ready, Gabe!” She quickly grabs my hands and forces me to face her. “I am ready, I’m just scared, that’s all, and I’ll never stop being scared if I don’t do this.” Tears well in her eyes as she searches my gaze. “I don’t want to be scared anymore, Gabe. I don’t want my heart to race and feel like I’m fucking suffocating every time one of you squeezes my wrist too tight or holds my legs in a certain way for too long. I fucking hate it. I just want to be free of this fear consuming me, and I trust you both to finally set me free.”
“How is tying you up going to set you free when it’s the exact thing that causedyou that fear?” I don’t fucking get it, and like hell if I’ll be the reason she ends up with more trauma. I’ve already done enough of that.
“Because I’m taking back control, Gabriel. I’mchoosingto take back something Victor forced on me andwillinglyhanding it over to you. These aremythoughts,mydesires,myactions. No one is forcing them on me. I am choosing to do this with you both because Iknowyou will keep me safe and will do it right. Because I know you won’t truly hurt me, and in that, I’m reclaiming what was taken from me.”
I want to keep refusing, not entirely comfortable with this yet, but now that I understand why she wants this so much, it’s hard to deny her. And am I really capable of ever saying no to her?“Are you sure about this?”
“Yes.” She nods firmly.
I sigh, knowing I won’t convince her otherwise. “Fine… but Noah’s right. We need a word, something to tell us to stop if it gets too much.”
“Hm,” she thinks for a moment, then smiles. “Blueberry salad?”
“Jesus, she really is obsessed with that salad.” Noah laughs and shakes his head.
“What? It’s good! Besides, saying that during sex would quickly throw me off, so I’m thinking it will do the same for you both.”
“It would certainly have me pausing.” I chuckle.
“Okay, so we’re doing this?” She looks from Noah then to me as we both nod. “Good.” She takes a few deep breaths, shakes out her arms, then pulls herself up on the kitchen island.
“You want to do this here?” I frown.
“Yes, there’s more lighting here; I think that will help with my mind not… you know, going to dark places if I can see what you’re doing.”
Noah comes closer and picks up one satin tie; he kisses her cheek before beginning to tie one end around her ankle. She watches with wide eyes while focusing on her breath with every loop and tug he makes.
“Is this okay?” he asks her and waits for her nod before continuing. “Can you scoot back a bit on the counter? I’m going to tie it to this handle right here,” he points to the very one right beneath the island, “and leave it in a bowtie. Like that one quick tug will set you free, just like I did around your ankle.”
“Okay,” she murmurs in a small voice and moves back, leaving her foot resting above the counter.
I get to work on her second ankle, mimicking the same knot Noah made, then tie that end to the other side of the counter, leaving her with both legs bent and spread toward either side. We wait a few seconds as she wiggles her toes, then moves her feet around slightly, noticing how we left a bit of looseness to the ties.
“Where do you want these?” Noah picks up the handcuffs next.
“In the front, please. I… I need to see them.”
He nods and slowly wraps one around her wrist, once again leaving a bit of wiggle room, which I’m sure if she tried, she could squeeze her hand through it, then does the same to the other.
I stand back and watch as her entire body begins to shake, no longer just her hands. It’s like she’s standing outside naked in the middle of a blizzard, unable to control the shiver coursing through her, and it fucking guts me to see her responding this way just at the sight of seeing her hands tied up. I quickly step closer and wrap my arms around her, kissing her temple repeatedly.
“I’m okay. I’m okay. I’m okay,” she repeats while sniffling, but all it takes is letting her go to see just how not okay she truly is. She curls up on herself the moment Noah releases her wrists and hides herself with her arms, crying quietly.
I fucking hate this. I hate seeing this version of Ronnie. I want to fucking kill that asshole for creating this broken and terrified version of my beautiful and brave girl.
“Shh, everything’s okay. You’re safe, Veronica.” Noah glides his fingers through her hair, trying to soothe her. He then takes her hands in his and gently brings them back down. “Look at me.” He waits for her tear-filled gaze to reach his, then smiles tenderly. “I want you to take a few deep breaths, and then you’re going to repeat after me, okay?”
“Okay…” She takes several deep breaths, letting them out slowly past her lips.
“Good girl.” He pecks her lips, then brings his eyes back to hers. “Now say it with me. You’re here, you’re now.”
Her face scrunches up with more tears when she realizes what he’s doing, and her entire body begins to relax. “I’m here, I’m now.”
