Page 92 of Make Us Yours
And to think a little over a month ago I was dead set on not getting in a relationship or getting near these two. Now I can’t seem to walk away from them.Who was I kidding?
We haven’t established where our relationship stands yet, but the boys have made it pretty clear with their subtle comments that we’re a thing. I know we’ll have to discuss soon how all of this is going to work, because I’ve never been in a relationship with two men before.
I don’t know what they expect of me and what I should expect from them.Are we exclusive? Do I call them my boyfriends? Whose bed do I sleep in?The more I think about everything, the more I understand where Clay’s curiosity came from.This is confusing.
But right now, I’m worried about Gabe. Something isn’t right, but he won’t talk to me about it. For the past three days, he’s been checking his phone as if he’s waiting for something. I caught him a few times going through gossip magazines and the news. I just can’t figure out what he’s looking for.
And when I ask, he puts his phone away and tells me it’s nothing, but I don’t miss the worried look in his eyes. He’s also very antsy, with his knee constantly bouncing when he sits down or his foot twitching back and forth like right now.
I glide my hand up his chest as we break apart. “Is everything okay?”
He brings his own up and passes his fingers through my locks. “Yeah, baby. Everything’s fine.” He kisses my forehead.
“You know you can talk to me about anything, right?” I try again.
He sighs and wraps his other hand around me. Now one along my back and the other in my hair, holding me close. “I know, Vixen. But it’s nothing you need to worry about,” he whispers into my hair.
So, he is admitting there’s something. He just won’t tell me what. I’ll give him today, but when we get home, I’ll push some more.Home… is it bad that I already love how that sounds?
We’re quiet for a moment until he speaks up again in a low voice. “Is he the reason why you don’t let your hair grow out? Or do you just prefer having it short like this?”
I shrug. “I cut it when I got to New York since I needed to look different, and I’ve just gotten used to having it like this. But sometimes I miss my long hair.”
He pulls slightly on my hair, lifting my gaze to his. “If you miss your hair, then let it grow out. If you miss your natural color, then let it come back. If you want to start dressing like a goody-two-shoe, praise-the-lord-gal again, then do it.” I giggle softly at his last comment. “Stop living your life in fear of him, Vixen. Don’t let him control you like that. We’re here now, we’ll keep you safe.”
He's not the first to tell me that. My therapist has been trying for years. Maze, even though she doesn’t know the story, reminds me every time I see her. And despite how many times they were repeated to me, I couldn’t let go.I didn’t know how.
But somehow, someway, Gabe’s words rattle through my bones.
I’m tired. I’m so tired. I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t want to hide anymore. To pretend I’m someone I’m not. To pretend I’m okay. That I’m not terrified every time I turn a corner late at night.
I’m done. No more hiding. I’m fighting.
A lone tear slips down my cheek, his thumb coming to wipe it away. “Okay.”
He cups my face and kisses my lips. “My brave, brave girl.”
Two hours later, Aubrey comes walking into the living room holding her phone. “Hey.” She kneels down next to me. “Grey just texted. They’re five minutes out. I’m going to go let the others know.”
I climb off Gabe and stand from the couch, while Gabe sits up and scrubs his face, then passes his hands through his hair. We both haven’t slept, simply cuddling, talking, and kissing since everyone went to bed.
“Okay, I’ll get coffee running. We’ll definitely need it,” I say, stretching out my body.
“I’ll help you and see what I can make to eat. Someone’s probably gonna be hungry.” He stands behind me and kisses my shoulder before walking away to the kitchen. I watch him go with a smile on my lips.
When I turn back to Aubrey, a warm expression crosses her face. She takes my hand and squeezes it. “I’m happy for you,” she whispers, then smiles and heads to the second level.
I start brewing coffee as Gabe goes over to a cabinet along the far wall that holds several rows of mugs. He pulls one glass door open and reaches in to pick one up. “No! Not those ones,” I whisper-shout just as his fingers wrap around it.
He turns to me slowly with the mug in his hand, a frown lining his face. “Why not?”
I sigh. “I don’t know. Em said they were special mugs only she and Grey could use. She forbade all of us from using them.”
He chuckles and places the mug back. “They have some weird kind of obsession with mugs, don’t they?”
“It’s their thing.” I shrug and point to the kitchen cabinet that contains the ones we can use.
He takes out several mugs and sets them down on the counter beside the brewer, then stands behind me, arms circling my waist. “Will we have an‘our thing’?”
