Page 2 of Exit: Us
“Who the fuck is Gabby?” I cut him off this time, not wanting to hear that bullshit.
“She’s a childhood friend of mine,” was all he told me.
“Okay, and why is she calling you? Is she coming to the wedding?” I asked him, still not understanding what the hell was going on. When I asked him that question, that’s when his tears fell.
“I’ve known Gabby since we were kids. We used to be neighbors. My parents were close with her parents. She moved away for college, and after college, she never came back. Over the years, we’ve had each other on social media, so from there, I was able to see that she was in a relationship. Gabby and I never dated, but I’ll be honest, we did have feelings for each other. We just never really acted on those feelings,” he started, and it broke my heart hearing these things because I kind of knew where this was going.
“I think back then, we were both too afraid to explore anything with each other, thinking that it might ruin our friendship. She went away for college, and I did the same. Here it is, years later, and she moved back home, after the failed relationship?—”
“You’ve been seeing her?” I cut him off to ask.
With his head down, he didn’t even have the balls to look me in my eyes when he responded. He just simply nodded his head.
“She came back about two months ago. She reached out to me on social media, telling me that she moved back. I went to see her. Amina, I’m being so honest right now when I say that I only met up with her to visit a childhood friend. I was going to even invite her to the wedding. Things didn’t go the way Iexpected them to. I hate to even say these things to you out loud because it makes me sound like a monster, when I know that I’m not. Seeing Gabby, being around her, all those things just reminded me of the past. I didn’t realize that there was so many underlying feelings still there for her. I’m at a place right now where I cannot 100% say that I’m ready to walk down the aisle next weekend and say, ‘I do’. Baby, I’m so sorry,” he finished, and when I say this man broke me… he broke me.
I didn’t expect this. Naturally, when I walked out here, and I saw that he was down about something, I thought that he was just having a bad day. I didn’t think it was this. I didn’t think that I would get a blow to the stomach like this.
I didn’t want to stand here and give him this weak, foolish, vulnerable version of me because he didn’t deserve it, but I couldn’t control my feelings. This cry came out from the depths of my soul.
“You… you… you couldn’t tell me this weeks ago? Literally seven days before the wedding… and you.. you decide to tell me this now? I built my life around us. In my mind, I was already your wife. All the while, it means everything to me to become your wife, and you’ve been out here exploring, needing time to figure out if it’s really me that you want?” I screamed at him, tears falling from my eyes.
Tears fell from his eyes as well, and because he knew that the things I was saying were the truth, he didn’t have a rebuttal. He stood there, looking pathetic.
I laughed through my tears, as I shook my head.
“Crazy thing is, I’m sure that the moment you saw her, you knew right then and there that it was no longer going to be me. Even with you knowing that, you still let me sit there and continue meeting with the wedding planner, doing the final touches for our wedding. You still let me lay in bed with you at night, talking about baby names, and what marriage would looklike for us. You let me meet with my bridal party today, when you knew all along that this wedding would never take place!” I yelled again, and this time, he walked over, reaching his hands out to touch me.
“Don’t touch me! Don’t you dare fuckin touch me!” I yelled even louder this time. He respected it, throwing his hands up, as he backed away from me.
“Amina, I’m so sorry,” he said again.
“I’m standing here with a broken heart, and the only thing that you have for me is telling me that you’re sorry? This is cruel what you’re doing to me. It would have hurt me two months ago, but I would have preferred for you to tell me then, compared to you dropping this shit on me one week before our wedding. No idea how you can fix your mouth and tell me that you love me. This isn’t love. This is the equivalent of hating me. To allow me to go on and be happy, to have me crave a life that you knew was never going to be mine is cruel,” was all that I had left to say about this.
He stood there, wiping his eyes, and once we both calmed down, he walked over to me.
“You deserve someone that’s sure about you, Amina. Right now, I’m just not sure,” he said to me.
I chose not to respond. I allowed that to be the final word. I think it was for the best that we just stopped talking to each other because every time words were spoken, my heart would hurt a little more.
I followed him with my eyes, watching him as he walked away and stepped inside the house. He closed the patio door behind him, and I used this time to lower myself onto the concrete, sitting Indian style. Through gut wrenching tears, I mourned a life that no longer belonged to me.
Just an hour ago, I had a fiancé. I had a wedding to tend to, and I was going to be the most beautiful bride that the world hasever seen. I had a future. I was ready to carry children for this man. I was ready to live a life with him that made the most sense to me.
Now, all I had was emptiness. Embarrassment because I knew what had to come next. I had to tell family and friends that the wedding was now off. All because a man stood in front of me and told me out of his own mouth that he wasn’t sure of me.
For the first time in my life, I didn’t have any idea what came next. I had no idea how I was supposed to put my best foot forward and move on from this.
Exit One:
SURVIVAL
Chapter 1
Gemini Black
ONE MONTH LATER
“Iwish it was a way that I could take that dick off you, and leave it on my dresser, so that I can ride it whenever I start missing you. Gemini, I’m about to start crying because I’m going to miss you again,” Tyra said to me, as she lay at the foot of the bed, down on her side, looking at me like she was ready to fuck again.
