Page 71 of Dangerous Promises

Letting him in and saying his name aloud tells me something I've always known but never admitted. There was always a part of me that thought Alexei would kill me. Burying these memories of Nic... never saying his name. I thought I would never have to deal with it. Because Alexei would get the better of me, and I'd never have to resurrect this feeling.

Yet here it sits. Staring at me. Consuming me. Knowing that things were always far more complicated than I thought, but shocked in the proof of seeing it with my own eyes. Shocked in the proof that with a knife in my hand and hatred in my mind, I still could not finish what I had promised I would.

There's a shuffle of footsteps behind me, and I suppose I've been found now. I didn't think I'd get away with running from Dad for long. But this has to be a new record. I turn over my shoulder, and find the least likely and yet most expected person possible standing behind me.

Alexei watches from a few feet away, his eyes going between me and the headstone.

I twist away and wipe the last of the tears from my eyes. As if I'm still trying to hide from him. Even though I know he knewwhat it would do to me. That's why he said Nicholas's name to me.

"Princess," Alexei says, stopping next to me. From this angle I can only see his expensive leather shoes and black pants. Until he crouches down in the grass next to me and my eyes meet his stormy gray ones. Like always, I'm electrocuted when I'm trapped in his gaze, and that revelation only serves to make my heart hurt even more.

"Why you?" I say, sighing and cursing my luck. "Why always you?"

"I'll always know how to find you, princess."

"Just my luck," I say, shuffling onto my butt and crossing my legs over one another. Alexei follows the movement, even though it looks like it pains him when he sits down on the wet grass beside me.

"You ran away," Alexei says, how very observant of him. "Your dad's awake and you ran. Why?"

"It was a bit fucking overwhelming," I say. "Not what I was expecting when I got up this morning."

Alexei lets out a cruel scoff. "Yeah. Finding out that the leader of the DeMarco Family Mafia is alive was not on my fucking list of things to do today," he says, shaking his head. "Especially when I'm now his rival leader. He wasn't too happy to see my smiling face at the end of his bed."

"You saw him?" I say, frowning. "Did he ask about..." I let the question trail off even as my eyes shift towards Nicholas's grave. Alexei picks up on this, nodding gently.

"What did-"

"I didn't exactly want to stick around for the reveal, princess," Alexei says. "I've already got one DeMarco hunting me down for it, I'd rather not see if your father draws the same conclusion about who's fault this all was."

I nod. Because that's fair enough, really. I'd expect nothing less of my dad than to want Alexei's head. And probably mine right after that for being stupid enough to make a death promise in the first place.

"Why did you come here then?" I ask, looking back at him as the wind gently ruffles his strong black hair.

He takes a deep breath through his nose before he answers me. "I knew you'd be here."

Letting that sit for too long feels uncomfortable. Alexei doesn't look at me. Just up into the sky like he is at peace sitting here. I, too, close my eyes and look up into the sky. Letting the wind run past me and just being.

It is wild to me that I can safely and comfortably close my eyes with my worst enemy sitting right next to me. But that is exactly what's happening.

When I open my eyes again, they are sticky with tears yet to dry. I blink slowly to clear them before looking back at Alexei who has now found his way to staring at me. Intense as always, but comforting too.

"Do you ever think about that day?" I ask. "About what happened?"

"Yes," he answers quickly. "Every day. For more reason than one."

I sniff and when I start to shiver I remember I'm still in my pajamas, having run away straight from bed. Straight from Alexei's bed. Fucking hell. I groan as I rub my forehead.

Alexei's shrugs off his jacket and places it around my shoulders. I don't want to, but I sink into it easily, letting his warmth secure me and his scent surround me.

He sits next to me now only in his black silk shirt, but he still looks comfortable.

"I... blame myself," he says, unexpectedly.

"What?" I say, the words coming out slowly and with all the incredulity I can muster.

He's got enough courage to meet my eyes, but not enough to hold them. Like he either can't bare what he's about to say or can't face me when he says it.

"My brother. He died in there. I left him to die. Sometimes I wonder... if all this with you was just a way to absolve myself of my guilt. For the fact that I should have been there for my brother, but I wasn't."