Page 65 of Dangerous Promises

When she kicks out, I bat her leg away. I don't let her touch me, but I do nothing else to retaliate. I'm not even sure why I do it. But for some reason, the need to fight her, the want to attack her back, the rage that was driving me before, just isn't there in my heart.

"I'm not going to fight back," I tell her calmly, continuing to block her attacks.

"Fight back!" she screams, jumping away from me to hold out the knife.

"I won't," I say, strangely crushed by the tears still freely pouring down her face.

She runs at me, batting me and swiping quicker and harder than before. So much so that it becomes difficult to combat and I'm reminded of just how much she's learned in the time she's had to prepare for this moment.

She kicks me down and I willingly fall to my knees at her feet. The gravel stings but I let it. The cool air bites at my bare chest but I let that, too. I hold my hands up in surrender as I look up at her.

"I won't fight back this time. Not here," I tell her. She grits her teeth and holds the knife tighter in her hand, but she doesn't make a move towards me.

"If you really need to kill me, then do it," I say. Her teeth bare in fury. She looks at me like this time she's really going to do it. Like there is nothing left to stop her from finishing this. It doesn't matter that Freddie, Anton and Isla are all here to witness it. It doesn't matter if it starts a war.

I drop my eyes to my feet.

Right now, she really wants me to die.

This time, I'm not sure that I mind. I'm tempted to just close my eyes and let it happen. To just let the pain take over and letthis end. I'm not sure how much longer I can hold on to all this grief and rage. Part of me, too, just wants this to be over.

Maybe one of us can be at peace then.

"Alexei..." Isla says.

"Stay back," I say, warning Isla away without even looking at her.

Sage makes a step forward, the knife steady in her hand. She's not going to hesitate to end my life. She probably shouldn't.

"Do it," I say, looking up at her in acceptance. "If you must."

She steps right up to me and presses the knife against my neck. The cool blade nicks me, sending a drop of blood down my throat when I swallow. But I just keep staring up into her eyes and she keeps staring into mine.

I wait with held breath for her to make her swipe. To cut me. Not a single person moves or even breathes as we wait for Sage to make her decision.

Her eyes are wild and fleeting, following things that aren't there. She bites at her lip and suddenly she looks a million miles away, lost in a memory or a moment that I'm not a part of. Lost in thoughts that none of us get the privilege of foreseeing how they temper her.

I can see the moment her eyes change and her shoulders drop.

My heart sinks, and I'm not sure if I feel relief or disappointment.

Sage takes a tiny step back, averting her eyes from me. The knife falls gingerly from her hand, landing amongst the gravel. I feel the collective relief of everyone around us, but I still don't move. All I can do is watch her as she takes those small steps backward.

Even when she has the chance and the permission, she doesn't take the opportunity to kill me.

Her eyes return to the sky and she unleashes her sobs. Deep, guttural sobs that seem well overdue.

I stand, the gravel scraping at my knees. I'm tempted to go to her but decide it's better for both of us if I keep my distance.

I look at Isla, who is watching me back with pity and terror. I run my hand over my face and turn my back on Sage, too. Knowing the best thing I can do right now is walk away. Take Isla, take the car, and get the fuck out of here for a while.

I even take the first step to do so.

But that's as far as I get, because out of the corner of my eye I watch as that short stoutly woman dressed as a nurse comes running out of the house in a panic. I remember seeing her before. It's only in this moment that I remember they had been hiding something that I intended to investigate. I purse my lips when I realize that instead of looking into that I let myself get distracted by Sage. Again.

Anton's face goes pale as she rushes to push the woman back into the house. "You need to go back inside right now-"

She places both hands on his cheeks, a smile on her face and happy tears in her eyes. "Anton, your brother-"