Page 59 of Dangerous Promises

All the reasons that Victor was wronged, the justification driving me to avenge his death, none of them exist in that space.

But now we're in so deep.

Am I too blanketed by grief to care? Is she?

Her scars are worse than mine are. I can at least admit that even if her grief pales in comparison. But she doesn't have the same burden on her shoulders. She isn't responsible for an entire empire of men.

One day, surely, we will hurt each other. One day we will kill each other. One day it won't be fun anymore, there will be no teasing, no playing and no silly pranks with insulin and poison wine. One day it will be the end.

How soon that day comes, I don't know.

I sigh as I slip into bed and close my eyes.

Clarity feels a lot like confusion.

How do I suppress the instinct to lash out and kill her? Whatever I've promised, my hate for her is so visceral that I lose myself when I see her. The desire to kill her is out of my control.

I sit up, looking around the room they've given me at the DeMarco mansion, same as my old one. It's just as I remember it, bar the furnishings I'd put here to make it my own, but my favorite black silk linens are still on the bed.

I see the last place Victor sat and talked with me. The last place he threw a bottle of vodka at my head in a disagreement. If I'd been better at convincing him to leave this may not have happened. Now not only do I have Sage to kill, but I have Chet on my tail, too. All because I wanted to help that fucking ridiculous girl.

This is a room full of regrets.

Mostly for the poor, sad, son of a cunt who sat here thinking he'd lost his heart to that poisonous snake. Who was, in fact, everything I thought she was.

I gave Anton my word that I wouldn't fight the death promise on his property, and while I will try to uphold it, I'm not sure my sanity can bear it. I can only hope that Chet is easy to kill with the weight of both the Rushkoff and the DeMarco empire behind the mission.

After tonight, I see Victor clearer than I have before. He really needed this. Why? I can't possibly know. But unlike my brother, I don't need to take out the DeMarcos in order to consider our family powerful. As far as I'm concerned, once Sage is dead, I'm happy to split the city right down the middle as it's always been and never see each other again.

I can't stay within these thoughts for a second longer or the ache in my chest where my brother is supposed to be will turn into a full-blown black hole.

I loved my brother. And I'm still not even sure I know what love is.

Chapter

Twenty-Four

Sage

Ilie in bed and stare up at the ceiling, watching the dance of shadows painted by moonlight. Chet's necklace clutches to my chest, the edges digging into my palms. I could stare at it all day and still never know what it means. I thought I knew everything there was to know about the feud between my father and Chet.

This had always started well before me. But now I see there's far more I still don't understand. Like why Chet hated us all so much that he would attack us so violently, murdering my Aunt Emma and then torturing me as a punishment for my father.

A punishment for what?

I throw the necklace in the drawer beside my bed and try to forget about that for now. The time for that will come.

Bigger issues and all that.

After the flower shop, Freddie convinced Isla and Alexei to come back here for the night. Weird. Weirder that they agreed.I'm not sure how Anton is going to feel about that in the morning.

I'm sure he's going to be more mad at me than anyone else.

He hasn't had the opportunity to reprimand me for all the awful things I did that ended up hurting Dad. I'm sure he'll want the chance. I don't blame him. I deserve it. It won't be anything I haven't said on repeat to myself, anyway.

I could have told him myself at any point, but the timing was never right. Honestly it never occurred to me to do so. It was a secret I was going to take to my grave. Of course, that Rushkoff asshole had to butt in and ruin it.

Killing Victor and signing on for a death promise was enough to get Anton in a bad mood. I didn't have to tell them that I orchestrated the whole thing.