Page 44 of Dangerous Promises

Alexei sits down on the grass beside me, stretching his arms out and wrapping his large thick-veined hands around his knees. He stares out into the distance like he doesn't even remember I'm here, forgotten in his presence.

"He... we were in love," I say. "We could have had a future together. We could have built a life."

A small smile appears on the corner of his lip. Like he knows something I don't. Instead of rage though I feel only curiosity.

Alexei considers me for a second, his black coat getting thick with rain water that's laden over the grass. "That wasn't real love, princess."

I scoff, shaking my head. It's laughable. I shouldn't have expected him to understand. The fucker has probably never known what it's like to love in his whole life.

"It's not the same, Alexei." Something sincere comes out in my voice that I don't mean for him to hear. But he does, reacting without anger. His eyes are no less intense, but they're peaceful now, too.

"My brother-"

"Your brother was working with Chet. What does that say about him?" I don't mean it to come out snappy but it does. He can't possibly compare his brother to what I've endured.

"I had assumed you didn't know," Alexei says, nodding though his eyes fill with pity. "Of course you don't. You wouldn't have tried to marry Victor if you had. Even you're not stupid enough for that."

Know what?

I frown. Because I am pretty sure I do know everything. Haven't I been the one orchestrating everything behind the scenes?

"My brother... was not a good man," Alexei says, and the admission shocks me enough that I close my mouth to hide whatever snarky retort I was building. "But he was the only constant in my life. He protected me when I was little. He sheltered me from the worst things our father had to give. He raised me after our mother died. Everything I am and everything I learned, I got from him. Victor became the bad person. He shielded me from ever having to see the things he did. The things that made him as hard as he was. He was my big brother. Regardless of what he did or what he planned to do. He was everything to me. And I would've given my life for his a thousand times over. I'd give my life a thousand times now if I thought it would grant him one more second on this earth."

I feel like I've just been stabbed through the chest.

A cold sweat forms over my body, holding my head underwater so I feel like I can't breathe.

Have we ever had a sincere conversation? Why does this feel so much worse than the fighting?

A look of harsh shock slams into my face as I watch Alexei's features, and I physically see the grief that is holding him down. The reasonwhythere are storms behind his eyes. I bite my lip, trying to hide my very visceral reaction to his description of his pain.

"But you are right. My grief is not the same," Alexei says, turning to face me. "It is far, far worse."

For a moment, he holds me there. In his eyes I can feel all his pain open up, the fragility of his grief saddling up against my own.

Eventually, Alexei stands up, brushes off his pants and leaves me alone. The whole time he walks away, I can't help but watch him, feeling his pain as if it's my own down into the very depths of my soul.

A lone tear rolls down my face, and as I lift my hand to stop it, my frozen heart thaws an inch.

Chapter

Eighteen

Alexei

Idon't bother flicking the light on in my brother's office. Instead I pause at the threshold, leaning against the door. Everything is the way I left it, with a haze of darkness and despair layered over it to mirror what I feel inside.

I was told to give her space, to put some distance between the vicious princess and myself. But perhaps I am the one who needed it.

Coming home though, I realize nowhere feels like home anymore. This space was never mine, but I've lived in it like I'm the one that died. Doomed to spend eternity haunting this place.

I lower myself onto the green couch, the brief flicker of orange flame the only light when I light my cigarette.

How could she think her grief is any comparison to mine? He was the brother I'd known and loved my whole life. Up until a year ago, there wasn't a day I was on this earth without him. I watched him grow up, grow into the role our father laid out forhim and over the last few years I watched him devolve into a madness that I couldn't stop.

I did a great job at pretending I didn't see the truth about Victor. Believing that a gentle, or sometimes violent, influence could keep him close to me.

Then there was Chet.