Page 135 of Intent to Kill
He swallowed and held still, not daring to move as he asked the question that had plagued his mind for months. From the moment he first read the words in the newspaper. From the moment he saw her again. From the moment he realized that she didn’t love Dorian Blake. And never had.
“Why—really why,” he said, “did you say yes to Dorian Blake?”
She stiffened.
She was so still that he wondered if she was retreating again. As her face softened, he swore he could see some part of her gently pulling away her walls and baring herself freely to him.
Like placing a final puzzle piece, in his mind the picture was suddenly clear. Why she hid so deep behind battle-drawn walls in her heart. As if all that she had suffered, all her pain, had not hardened her, but softened her so much that she would shatter if the wrong person got close enough.
“For Paul,” she said, avoiding eye contact and squinting out into the sun.
“For Paul?”
She smiled, but not with her eyes. “You didn’t really think Dorian would just let them go, did you? No. Dan and Carlos went straight to Dorian to back up their pledge, and since they were Cortez Cartel before, Dorian saw them as a victory. But Paul...”
Adam shuffled closer, the words damning enough to make his ears bleed.For Paul...He’d suspected as much, but didn’t realize how it’d hurt to hear. To see all the consequences he had run away from and left his family to face.
She continued. “Paul was a betrayal. He’d been working for the Blake’s his whole life. Dorian trusted him. And then he skipped town for weeks to help you recover. When he finally came back, Dorian wasn’t going to let him live. So, I...” She took a deep breath. “I gave Dorian what he’d always chased. I gave him me.”
He blinked and a tear slipped from his eye. “Why did you do that?”
“You did the same? Didn’t you? Sacrificed yourself to save them. Why shouldn’t I give what I had?” She gulped and looked skyward, but it didn’t stop her tears from falling.
They were silent from then all the way to the walk back to his car. The words they’d exchanged were so raw. Much more honest than they’d ever been before. He remembered what she’d said to him in anger,the girl you used to love died back in October 1986. The same day you did,and now he considered it true.
She wasn’t the same, and neither was he. The love they’d had once was not there.
No. It had been replaced by something much deeper. Where before he would’ve torn the world to pieces in his love for her, now he would take everything. Himself, the sky, the stars, every planet in the universe, the entire galaxy...he’d swallow it all into a black hole for her.
Nothing between them—not time, not enemies, not death—none of it would ever change how he was desperately, hopelessly, and endlessly in love with her. And would be forever.
* * *
He had to tell her.
He couldn’t hold it in.
After the escapade at the beach, they’d come back to his hotel room to clean up. Dan, Carlos, and Paul had been there, but left quickly, and now it was just him and her.
Him and her standing at the window looking out onto the beach and not saying a word. His skin crawling with the need to tell her how much he felt. How the feelings never stopped. And how he suspected that those feelings wouldn’t lessen even if he wanted them to.
“What?” She frowned at him. Her sheer white sweater crumpled as she folded her arms and craned her neck to see him.
“Nothing.”
“You’re staring at me.”
“Am I?” He feigned innocence.
“You do that a lot.”
He turned to her with a smile.
Reaching a shaking hand out, he brushed a patch of white sand from her cheek. “You still have some sand here.” But he couldn’t stop himself from holding his hand there. From stroking her cheek with his thumb. From holding her head in his hand as she cradled into his touch.
She closed her eyes as if the touch of his hand were melting her. He stared as her pupils raced behind her closed eyelids, like her thoughts were eating her whole. Her eyes snapped open with a jolt.
“I can’t–” she said. She removed his hand from her face and then held it with her own as she traced the lines on his palm.
