Page 104 of Yours to Keep
But the part that still haunts me isn’t the beating.
It’s what Eli said afterward.
He laughed, but there was no humor in it. Nothing light about it at all. Just a hollow, automatic sound, as if his body didn’t know what else to do with the memory.
Then he looked at me and said quietly, almost matter-of-factly, as if repeating something he’d been taught to believe: “It was my fault, CJ. I was flirting. I deserved the lesson.”
Even now, that sentence doesn’t leave me. It just sits there: heavy, wrong, permanent.
Even now, those words make me sick.
That my Baby Boy still believes them.
That was the moment Eli started slipping away. The moment fear stopped being an emotion and became a rule.
And when he finally shut himself away from the world, locking that door between us, I knew Adrian had broken him without ever needing to be there.
* * *
I stayed with Eli until his breathing smoothed out, his body going heavy and lax against mine. Once I was certain he was completely asleep, I eased out from under him, tucked the blankets around his shoulders, and went down to the office.
Finn was already upstairs taking my place, keeping guard over my boy while he rested.
Downstairs, and as my boy slept, I read everything Deck had gathered: every piece of evidence, every photo, every report. I gave Deck a moment to finish the burger Finn had forced on him.
While I waited, my eyes kept drifting back to Adrian’s photo in the center of the wall.
Pain twisted through my stomach and I bent forward, hands braced on my knees, dragging air into my lungs as if it weighed too much. A broken sound slipped out of me.
Deck’s hand landed on my shoulder immediately. “Speak to me, brother.”
“Everything, Deck,” my voice came out rough. “Everything Eli has told me suddenly makes sense. Every fear. Every panicattack I’ve held him through. Every time he looked over his shoulder. Every time he flinched.”
I swallowed hard. “He wasn’t paranoid.” The words burned in my throat. “He was right. About everything.”
The truth hit me like a punch to the stomach. Every fear he ever had was justified.
“I failed him, Deck. Every step of the way.”
“No, brother.” Deck’s voice stayed steady beside me. “But there’s one thing you and Eli need to hold onto.”
I looked at him.
“He made one catastrophic mistake, CJ.”
“What?”
Deck’s gaze drifted back to Adrian’s photo. “He came after Eli.” His jaw tightened. “And he still thinks Eli belongs to him.”
Then he looked at me. “But we both know the truth. Eli isn’t his. He chose you, CJ. And that’s stronger than anything Adrian ever had.”
I let that settle, because Deck was right.
Adrian’s world was going to burn for coming after my Eli. My Baby Boy.
I straightened, taking a breath that felt like it actually reached my lungs, forcing myself back into the fight. My eyes went to the board.
I saw Adrian’s smiling face, and it made me sick, but it also gave me something I hadn’t felt in days: Purpose.
