Page 89 of Burn Her They Said
Staring where Lars and Malin are trapped in some argument, angrily gesticulating, while Cirrin’s hands are clasped behind his head with a worrying look spread across his features, saying something to Varic as the shield parts, allowing his blue-green healing to infiltrate both of us, imbuing Fray and me with energy and pain relief before it seals us off.
Not seeing amber anywhere but around us, I shout, “Varic! Shield everyone, please! I can’t lose any of you! I won’t!”
The light is missing from Varic’s irises when he looks up, mouthing something I can’t quite decipher. Pushing against my savior’s chest, though he refuses to relent, I yell, “Fray! No! Stop! We can’t leave them!”
I’m too weak. I cannot free myself from his grip.
Fray squeezes tighter, crushing my ribs, rotating just enough for me to catch a glimpse of the long cylindrical object. My whole body tenses, because that has to be the largest fucking bomb in existence.
No. This cannot be happening.
I refuse to allow this to be the last I see any of them.
Fray’s hand splays over my cheek and shoves my face to the curve of his neck. We hurtle through the giant hole in the window, with the warmth of Varic’s force-shield growing fainter as Fray flies us farther away from him, and the bomb.
“No! We have to go back! Set me down somewhere and save them! Please! There is no reason to leave them all to die!”
But Fray doesn’t stop.
Or speak.
And I swear my heart shatters as the amber shield disappears.
The loss of which hurts nearly as much as what is about to happen if Fray doesn’t fucking do something to save them.
Or seem to care that I do not wish to be saved.
Not when it means they should die so he might ensure my safety.
Not when their deaths will break whatever is left of me.
Because they cannot possibly survive the blast—not from a bomb that big.
Not even if Lars were to run it far enough away to save the rest, because losing him to this would crush me, regardless.
Gods, I was so cruel to Varic.
I should have just let him undo the last few buttons on my dress.
Fuck feeling as if I would implode if he were to touch me one more time in the moment.
It was just a few more buttons. I would have survived.
And now?—
I didn’t know. I had no reason to believe that would be it.
Taking what we had for granted, believing we had more time.
We need more time.
This can’t be it.
This can’t be the end for us.
“Fray! Put me down somewhere and go back and get them!”
He remains silent as the frigid air bites everywhere from the loss of Varic’s shield.
