Page 59 of Burn Her They Said
My brow knits in frustration with the Emperor for commissioning this to be made in the first place, with the fabric so thin it obscures nothing, providing me with none of the warmth required to survive the cold in this stone Palace.
Drusilla gestures for me to raise my arms, where she guides the wide sleeves of an equally short robe, before tying a bow in the front. A satisfied smile draws her thin lips outward as she steps back in assessment, apparently proud of her ability to bring me discomfort.
Now that the nighttime routine is complete, I shuffle toward the bed, in need of the warmth from the covers.
Hinges squeak, and I come to a halt until all five locks slide into place, securing the six of us in the cavernous space now that Drusilla has left us, until the healers arrive to imbue my Guards with enough energy and alertness to protect me overnight.
A loud yawn escapes me as I shakily reach for the blankets, then gasp when a warm hand halts my movement, reaching around my back to take hold of the bedclothes.
“Here, let me,” Varic says, rolling the covers down enough so I can climb in while I pull in a deep breath of his warm spice scent, steeling my nerves for what I cannot seem to avoid as I turn to meet the most impossibly bright brown eyes.
Our bodies are drawn together like magnets as the center of his chest presses up against my shoulder. I absorb his warmth and unabashedly stare at the way the leather strains over his form. Varic lets out a laugh, and a small smile tugs on my cheeks when I notice his own turned up in a smirk. I fight the pull to lean in, to face him fully and melt into his chest—an urge I must resist with the healers due to arrive at any moment, and the Emperor’s tendency to barge in whenever he chooses.
“Thank you.” My voice comes out much softer than his.
Varic’s grin deepens, and he releases a breath, rustling the hair over my shoulder now that it has been let down from its typical tightly pinned style.
“I’ve always preferred your hair like this.” He reaches up to hook a tendril in the crook of his finger before tugging it playfully. “Free. Like you should be.”
He tilts his chin and looks up at me through that thick line of lashes?—
Then something snaps—and not that Godsdamned tether tying us together—something much more sensible, urging me to climb onto the mattress, shifting the nightgown to keep from exposing myself as I lie back and pull the covers up to my chin.
Varic stares down at me, and I swear I can hear him thinking.
“What is it, Varic?” I ask as if it is just he and I sharing this space without four other beings, all of whom hold their breath to ensure they hear every word of what comes next.
His eyes drift to the Guards he leads, before returning to me as he bends over to whisper, “This is going to take some getting used to, after finding a way to sleep next to each other for months when we first met, to now having to train myself not to expect the same.”
His admission halts my breath as the flush on my chest rises, flaring outward, feeling as if he has imbued me with something—some feeling—but its color isn’t one I recognize immediately. Most likely just another instance of my magic conjuring emotions I’ve siphoned from others in the past. Something I would expect one to feel in a moment like this.
Varic releases a breath and adds, “Because now that I see you all curled up in bed, I am finding it unspeakably difficult to stand here while everything in me is screaming with the need to climb in beside you.”
Fray’s chuckle severs our tension, ringing out from his chest where he stands by the window.
Varic straightens his spine, and I very nearly toss the covers from my lap with the scorching heat of his attention searing my skin.
“Gods,” Fray says. “I knew it. We are so beyond fucked.” He claps his hand over his mouth, as if his thin fingers can do anything to shut him up any more than the threat of death does.
Every muscle in my back screams for me to rest as I bolt upright to correct him.
“Fray,” Varic says, as I swivel to gawk at him. “Please.”
Fray’s abdomen clenches beneath his leathers, and I shake my head.
“Yes, Fray. Please explain how an expulsion like this is either helpful or supportive?” Cirrin asks, and Fray’s face falls before shifting to an apologetic expression as he makes eye contact with my healer.
“It’s not,” Fray admits.
“Thank you,” I say, mostly to Cirrin, as I drop back on the pillow.
“It’s just that—” Fray begins, and Varic tosses him a look, yet he merely holds his hands up in defense to carry on with his message. “Since you two are incapable of hiding your connection, we should discuss how the Emperor will not tolerate any sort of overt affection, as he already admonishes us anytime we treat her with kindness in his presence. Our purpose is to keep her safe?—”
Varic’s ears burn a brighter red. “Tasch’s safety is my top priority.”
“Of course it is,” Fray says. “Which is why you need to get your behavior under control in front of others. Neither of you can seem to hide your feelings, meaning the rest of us”—he points around the room at my other Guards—“have needed to be on high alert every time you were summoned to the Palace, helping her avoid being in your presence as much as possible, to try to hide the fact from His Majesty’s notice that neither of you can keep your damned eyes off of each other. However, now that you are her Lead Guard, this thing between you two will be impossible to hide, meaning we need to plan accordingly, because there will be consequences.”
Each of my Guards nod in agreement, including Varic, increasing the heat felt in my cheeks.
