Page 35 of Burn Her They Said
“No.” The muscles in my arms burn as I cradle her closer. “You will not call her greedy. She is never greedy.”
Fray’s brows rise, the dark lines on his pallid complexion nearly sinister, especially with the black Dragon tattoos around the pale skin on his neck making it seem as if the uniform rises higher than it does.
“I can be greedy,” I admit. “But you will never refer to her as being so. Not about me, and not to me, because she is one of the most selfless beings I have ever had the honor to meet. And not because she is forced to be, but because it is who she is, and I will hear nothing to the contrary.”
Her Guards all turn and share some silent message as Fray’s hands rise before his chest.
“Understood,” Fray says. “It’s just—she’s easily distracted in your presence, and her magic changes whenever you’re near.”
“So you are saying my presence brings her harm.” My voice breaks as my arms start to shake.
“That is not what I said,” Fray says. “Your presence poses an additional challenge.”
“You think?—”
“No,” Lars cuts me off. “We know you would raze the Palace to the ground if it meant saving her. However, it doesn’t change how your presence complicates things.” He steps closer and gestures to the bed. “Go on, let’s have a demonstration.”
My brows furrow, and I blink back at him in question.
“Gods,” he says, shaking his head. “I merely meant for you to lay her down and observe exactly how she reacts the moment you step away from her.”
My heart slams against my ribs so hard, I worry it might wake her as I carefully lower her down to the mattress. The tightness in my throat makes it nearly impossible to swallow, and I can’t bear to look at her, or else tears will surely fall.
But this isn’t about me. She is the one hurting.
I stare out past her balcony to the Eternal Flame as I extract my arms from under her body, then turn to make eye contact with each of her Guards, preventing me from clutching my chest as it constricts with every step backward.
The wall sneaks up on me as the heel of my boot connects just before the back of my skull cracks against it, and my vision continues crowding in. It is ridiculous for my body to react this severely, mere seconds after creating distance between us.
She thrashes to the side, and I rush forward as her arms flail, seeking and reaching before grasping at the covers, gripping and tearing with her nails, dragging my heart down to my stomach from the pain contained in her groan. I freeze roughly two paces away from her—though I could make it in one if she needs me there faster.
“Varic.” Her voice is distressed, and my heart squeezes as I close the distance.
“No. Don’t,” she cries, tossing her head to the side, fanning her hair in all directions as I retreat.
I was wrong. I misinterpreted. She doesn’t want me.
“Where is Varic?” she asks, still lost in her subconscious.
What does she mean? Does she need to hide from me? Am I the monster in her nightmares? The one she must try to escape?
“She always does this,” Malin says, studying Tasch with a pained expression as I cock my head to the side and stare at him. “She always calls for you and pleads for you in her sleep.”
My heart hammers as I open my mouth to ask him more?—
“Please,” she cries.
And oh, Gods—I can’t take it.
“Did he leave me?” Her voice quivers as she tosses her head back and forth. “No.”
My heart breaks into a million little pieces watching her grieve the loss of my contact after all that’s happened.
“Varic,” she cries, turning to her side, sliding her hand over the covers until it rises and reaches for me, though she can’t possibly know I am here, nor where I am standing.
Fuck it.
I’m too weak. I do not possess the strength to deny her when she’s begging—for me.
