Page 4 of Bad Habit
Everyone loves Mia because she makes them feel like they are being kissed by the sun. But they forget something vital about the sun.
It’s a ball of fire. You can’t get close to the sun without burning away and ceasing to exist. Fucking Mia was a fatal decision.
MIA
How do men make me feel? Like I want to commit arson. If AJ doesn’t come back from Rory’s fight soon I’m going to burn the gym down. I could easily make it look like an accident if it started in the office. Actually, I wouldn’t dare because I love Eddie and AJ too much, but if I have to sit through another day of Oliver staring at me then giving me that dumbass grin because he thinks he knows me, I’m going to burn something somewhere.
Maybe his house. No, not his house. It’s too special. That house is a dream home, just needs a facelift. But the bones were made for one of those house renovation shows. I’ve actively been trying not to think about that house or the ridiculous man who owns it.
And I’ve been gloriously failing.
It’s been three months of casual eye fucking and pretending nothing is happening. Months of him making comments every time he finds out I’m going out with another guy. Months of him not knowing that I haven’t been remotely interested in finishing a date since we spent the night together.
“I want you to watch the way you make me come undone. So when you pretend this never happened, I know you’re really picturing this in your mind.”
Every time I see him, his face as he pulled my hair and finished inside of me flashes through my mind.Fuck him. His singular goal isto remind me of him every chance he gets, and he’s mastered it. Between the gym and the coffee shop, I’ve had my choice of men to help me forget that night but they don’t make my heart hiccup the way Oliver does just by looking at me. So I end up going home horny and frustrated. He will never know that though.
I pull out my phone to call AJ. I’ve been battling between being dramatic and just giving her space to focus on Rory. But being in the gym without her makes me antsy. Eli and Maxwell will be here later but the first half of the day I’m left alone with Oliver. And she always has this weird way of calming me down without actually trying. The phone wobbles in my hand as I contemplate if I really need her or if I’m just being needy. I’m also worried about her and the stress I know she is feeling over tonight.
“Don’t you dare call and bother her. You will survive.” Oliver’s voice burns my ears from close behind me. Where did he even fucking come from? All the West men have the same annoying ability to sneak up on you.
“Hear me out.” I turn to face him, plastering my prettiest smile on my face. “Go fuck yourself.”
That ridiculous grin is on display. A chill runs over my skin when his voice drops, “Careful, Mia. You know I like it when you bite.” I’m glad to see he's holding the two boxes I left outside the door because if I am going to be stuck alone with him like this, he can at least do the heavy lifting.
Can’t wait to have you home! Wish Rory luck for me. We will be watching tonight!
I send the text anyway, because I know that tonight is going to be a big night for her. She gets to be first corner for Rory in a professional fight. Which is probably one of the most important moments in AJ’s career. Eddie has been working with her nonstop for the past few months to gether prepared. And even though she has been so focused on that, she still never missed a single Margarita Monday.
I pocket my phone and glare back up at Oliver. “Those need to go to the office.” I motion for him to head in the direction away from me. He just balances the boxes on his shoulder instead, studying me with intention that I didn’t ask for.
“She’s going to be brilliant tonight.” He soothes my worry for her with his never wavering faith in her. “And it will feel like you are ring side right there with her with the setup you have happening tonight.” He taps the boxes he’s holding. Eddie gave me permission to host a watch party tonight in the gym with a projector so the fight is on a big screen. I even got my favorite taco truck to park on the street outside of the gym and I was able to bribe Ty, from The Poolhouse, to set up and bartend for free as long as I bought the alcohol.
The best part is that Ty designed a specialty drink just for Rory, who’s so pathetically in love with AJ that he changed his fight name to The Viper. The drink is a blackberry hard lemonade. Not my style, but I know that everyone will enjoy it.
“I should be there.” The words fall out of my mouth before I realize. I hate the fact that I’m not able to be beside her on such a big night. What kind of best friend am I to not show up and stand in her corner while she stands in Rory’s?
He exhales as if he has a direct link to the exhaustion in my brain, “you’re the best kind of friend to her. She isn’t there worrying about this place falling apart while her and Dad are gone because she knows you're here.” With the boxes still resting on his shoulder, he cups the bottom of my chin and lifts gently. “She doesn’t question that you are in her corner.” His voice is reassuring and I know he’s right. Sometimes I just question if I’m doing the best I can for the people I care about. Doubting that the people who claim to love and support you, actually do, is the loudest form of insecurity. It’s something I’m very familiar with. I neverwant someone to doubt that I will show up for them. I shift out of his hold and he drops his hand to hold the boxes in front of him.
These rare moments of softness with him are almost overwhelming. Flirting is easy, riling him up is fun. The way I feel right now is an attack on my nervous system. My body covets his touch but my brain reminds me that it’s too much of a risk to become addicted. So I keep him at a distance. Self preservation. I should say thank you but instead I point to his full hands and say, “Take those to the office.”
His chin dips slightly but the corner of his mouth twitches, “yes ma’am.” I watch him as he walks up the stairs until he is out of sight behind the office door.
Shaking off the way Oliver’s closeness makes me feel, I face the open floor. I still have to put everything in place for tonight. I can do this. Eddie and AJ are doing what they need to do to make sure that Rory is prepared for tonight while the guys have been taking care of classes for the past few days. We need this win tonight just as bad as Rory needs it for his career. If Rory brings it home, we’ll be able to solidify the money for sponsorships for not just the women's only strength class, but also for several of our kids classes. And I’m going to do whatever it takes to make that happen.
My training is supposed to start for the women’s class after Rory’s fight. AJ wants to train me herself at least one day a week and I’m thankful for her persistence. She always makes me feel stronger. It’s the confidence I lacked before I found my place here and now I get the chance to give it back to women who desperately need it.
Something else AJ is trying to teach me is that the gym quiets your chaos if you let it. I stand in the void of noise and empty mats but fail to find the quiet. I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and hold it like I’ve watched AJ do every day. I try to focus on the vibrations of the air circulating throughout and let the sun brush over my skin through the windows. Nothing. “I have to be doing it wrong.” I groan.
“It only works for Eddie and AJ.” My eyes are still closed, but Oliver’s voice is unmistakable.
“I thought you were in the office.”
“Well, now I’m back down here.”
I open my eyes to find him shirtless and standing in front of me. He’s been doing this a lot lately, just walking around like shirts are a lost concept to him.
“If you’re going to walk around without your shirt on, I’m going to start doing the same.” It isn’t a strong threat because I now have a large amount of matching workout clothes added to my closet that I love wearing.
