Page 106 of What We Knew Then
“It’s not about luck. Come on,” I plead. “You can still have me.”
“You think your dad is going to let me stay on the roster if I keep seeing you?” His eyes are wide as his brows press into his forehead. “Cora, I know you’re smarter than that.”
I don’t know if he’s right. My dad and I didn’t even get to that point.
“It doesn’t matter. I’m tapping out.” Lane taps his hand on the counter like a fighter who's pinned in a ring.
I can’t stand it. So I step into him, putting my hands on his chest. “I love you. We can’t just… you can’t tap out.”
His hands grab mine and he squeezes them before pushing them off his shirt. “Maybe you think you love me. But if you did, do you really think we’d be in this situation?” His words are soft and painful. “I don’t have a choice, Cora. Now, if you don’t mind, can I try to salvage the leftover pieces or is there something else we should cover?”
He’s nonchalant and it makes me want to scream. Because he’s right. I wasn’t even thinking about the bottle in my bag. What that meant. I thought I could fix it but this morning is proving me wrong.
“Lane. Please—”
“Lock the door on your way out.” He’s already focusing back on the computer. Acting like I’m already gone.
I think that’s the moment I realize this isn’t something I can fix. No matter what you prepare or what you think of as a next step or option.
Some things you just break.
Chapter 61
LANE
I’minthelockerroom waiting for my teammates and I keep seeing Cora’s face. Her standing in my apartment like she was ready to get on her knees and beg me to try and figure us out. When I told her I was tapping out, how love isn’t enough, it was like time was about to fold in on us. The words tasted like glass coming out of my mouth, but I said them anyway—because what else was I supposed to do? Pretend this isn’t exactly how my life always goes?
One mistake. A bad call. Everything is gone.
She looked like she was physically in pain, which basically matched me. Her eyes were wide, hands clenched at her sides like she didn’t know what to do with them. And when she came to me, reaching for me, there was a split second where I considered hugging her. Holding her to me. The way I've done a hundred times before.
But I couldn’t.
I’d managed to climb out of this hole and make myself relevant again. Like my dreams were in reach. She knew that. She’s one of the only people who knows the whole story. I didn’t think the careful and prepared Cora could ever do something like this.
I know I made the decision to drive her home. I didn’t even think of the bottle of liquor. I was just thinking about getting her home.
That’s what she does—clouds my judgement, shifts my priorities.
I hear people in the hallway and I do my best to stand tall. Coach let me know that it’s on me to tell my team. I can tell them what I want—this isn’t his story to tell.
They start filtering in, a few eyes stuck on me when they realize I’m not getting dressed for practice. Something in my face must give me away because it’s only a minute later before everyone is in there, including Coach, and they’re all sort of staring at me.
“Everything good?” Troy asks, looking at me and then back at Coach.
When Coach says nothing, that’s my cue.
“I’m out for the next two weeks. I’m sorry.” It’s the only thing that I can get my mouth to say. “I’m hoping we can keep this between us. This locker room only.”
The room is like a layer of confusion before someone asks, “For what? I don’t get it.”
I shake my head, feeling the weight of every pair of eyes on me. Coach is still standing by the door with his arms crossed, letting me handle it.
I decided when Coach gave me the green light to talk to the team that I’d tell them the whole story. They deserve it. It’s what I’d want if I was one of them.
“Last night, I got pulled over when I was driving Cora home. There was an open bottle of tequila in the car. The cop didn’t give me a ticket but called Coach to come and get us.”
There’s a low whistle when I finish but no one moves. I glance at Leo and his eyes are massive, like he can’t believe it.
