Page 58 of Cruel Kiss

We gather the kids and the caterpillar and we go.

16

CALI

I can't sleep.

I've been arguing with myself for two hours that I'm going to crash any minute now, that this is a totally normal night and I am a totally normal woman who did a totally normal thing today, even if, yes, okay, that thing was marry a mob boss at a courthouse with my son as the witness and a caterpillar in a shoebox as backup.

The kids went down easy. Isabella was exhausted, so she passed out without complaint. Hayden asked me if he did a good job being the witness, and I told him he did the best job anyone has ever done. He fell asleep proud.

Ronan is more of an enigma.

He's one door down. It seems sort of cruel, but that was the deal. Paper marriage. Hands to himself. Separate rooms. I wrote the rules. I was very clear about them.

But Daytime Cali has a lot more backbone than Nighttime Cali does.

I blame his vows. He pulled a slick one there, blindsiding me with those.I'm not a good man, but I'm not taking this, you're giving it.I said yes, and I meant it, and then I kissed him in front of my children and God and the City of New York and I felt it from the tips of my toes to the roots of my hair.

You can't unfeel a thing like that.

I roll over, then back, punch my pillow, unpunch it. "This is stupid," I tell the dark. "Right? It's dumb. I'm being dumb. I should snort an Ambien and go to sleep before I do something really silly."

I get out of bed. I'm just going to get a glass of water. But when I reach the stairs, I don't go down them.

I go toward his door instead.

I stop in front of it. There's a line of light underneath. He's awake. I'm not surprised. He doesn't sleep, not really; I've figured that much out. He lies flat on his back with his eyes open and he waits for the world to try something.

I stand there in my sleep shorts and one of his shirts, which I have absolutely no explanation for wearing, but I don't knock.

I just stand there.

But then my own house stabs me in the back, because the floorboard under my foot creaks. There's a long silence. Ronan's voice floats through the door.

"You're standing on the creaky one, Ms. Meadows."

Heat floods up my neck. "I'm getting water."

"The kitchen's downstairs."

"I'm actually aware of that. I do live here."

"You do." A pause. "And yet you seem lost."

I press my forehead against the door. The wood is cool. "I couldn't sleep."

"No. Neither could I."

"Because you never sleep?"

"I was busy listening to you, actually."

I fake a shocked gasp. "You heard me the whole time?"

Ronan laughs. "From the moment you left your room."

"You could've said something sooner!"