Page 31 of Cruel Kiss

"I know you can." He's already unbuckling his seat belt. "But it's a hot day in a big parking lot with a long line of anxious helicopter parents, and I'd rather you didn't stand in the middle of that shit any longer than you have to."

I still want to argue with him. But I'm tired today after yesterday's squabble, so I just wave a hand at him. "Fine. You're a martyr. Go."

I watch him cross the street. A few of the other parents glance at him. The moms especially. In their defense, he's hard not to glance at. Big, dark, filling out a button-down shirtverynicely,moving through a crowd of Upper East Side Pilates mamas in leggings and dads in golf polos like a shark cruising through a koi pond.

I sit for a minute, but then I get fidgety in the car, so I climb out just to stretch my legs. Aimlessly, I pull out my phone and check the tracker app that I made Ronan give me the login credentials for.

The dot on the map that is my car sits right where it should. The two dots that are the kids' backpacks are inside the building, drifting toward the door for dismissal.

I'm still mad about the trackers.

I'm also, though I'd never admit it out loud, a little bit comforted by them. That seems to be my whole life now: two true things sitting on top of each other, refusing to cancel out.

"Cal."

The voice comes from behind me, close, and I jump so hard I nearly drop the phone.

I turn around.

It's Todd.

For a second, I don't believe it. He's changed. Three weeks ago on my steps, he looked bad. But this is worse. He's thinner. His face has gone hollow under the cheekbones, and there's gray stubble on his jaw that he never used to allow to peek through. His shirt is wrinkled and untucked on one side. He keeps squinting past me, at the parked cars, at the corner, at the sky, everywhere but at me for more than a second.

"Todd. What the hell?"

"I know. I know." He holds up both hands. "Thirty seconds. That's all I want."

"How did you even?—"

"I knew the camp schedule. I used to do pickup, remember?" A ghost of the old cocky smirk, gone before it even gets halfway across his mouth. "I've been sitting up the block. I saw you pull up."

Which means he's been watching. A month ago, that would have terrified me. Now, it just makes me tired in a whole new way.

"You need to go," I say. "The kids are about to come out. You don't want them seeing you like this."

"No," he agrees fast. "No, I don't. That's— Yeah. That's kind of the point."

His eyes cut to the black SUV, and then a little farther down, to the Bratva soldier who's trailing us today to be extra sure that nothing goes wrong. The man looks at me in concern, but I wave him off subtly. I can handle one scumbag ex without backup muscle.

"He's got people on you?" Todd observes in a nervous mutter.

"Yeah. Lots of them."

"Good." I'm surprised that he says that like he actually means it. "That's good."

I don't know what to do with that unexpected twist. I don't particularly like what it implies.

"You look terrible," I tell him. "Are you sleeping?"

"Not really. Not in the same place twice. Not if I can help it, at least." He rubs the back of his neck. "It's, uh. It's been a bad few weeks."

I fold my arms. "You told me the feds talked to you. But you made it sound like they just asked you some questions and let you go home. This doesn't look like that."

"I, er… may have undersold it." He still won't look at me. "They got a little bit deeper than I let on. I signed some things, Cal. I said some things. When they put it to you the way they put it to me, you don't feel like you have a choice but to sing the exact song they want you to sing, you know?" He swallows. "Later, I found out there were some other options. But by then, I'd already gone through with the one they wanted."

"What the hell does that mean, Todd?"

"It means the street thinks I'm a rat." There's no spin left in him, none of the old salesmanship. He's stripped down to the bone, and even that much looks to be on its way out. "Probably because I am one. Ha. Basically, I'm a dead man. I just haven't gotten the official notice yet."