Page 119 of Ruined Wrath
FIONA
This might turnout to be the stupidest thing I’ve ever done, and I’ve done a lot of stupid things.
My pulse rings in my ears as I nervously wait in the driver’s seat of Cormac’s car for Lorcan to arrive.
The engine is off, and my hands are wrapped so tightly around the steering wheel my knuckles ache.
The parking lot is almost empty except for a scattering of cars belonging to people who have normal reasons to be out this late.
But not me. I’m meeting a man who might kill me before the sun rises.
Somewhere nearby, Cormac waits with his men, but that knowledge doesn’t bring me any relief. He didn’t tell me where he was going to be, that way, if I didn’t know where to look, I wouldn’t accidentally give anything away.
Lorcan is going to be on high alert, and even a subtle nervous glance could give me away, and I can’t afford to give him anything he could use against me.
At the time, Cormac’s plan made sense, but now that I’m sitting alone in this car, I feel like I’ve been dropped into the middle of the ocean and told not to drown.
What I wouldn’t give to have Cormac beside me, holding my hand.
I press my forehead briefly against the steering wheel, the leather cool against my skin.
For a split second, I let myself imagine what it would feel like if this were over. If this were just another night, and Cormac was the one behind the wheel.
I would be sitting in the passenger seat, my fingers intertwined with his. Scout would be asleep in the back seat, covered in biscuit crumbs and clutching his stuffed dinosaur while we drove back to the penthouse in the city.
The picture is crystal clear in my mind. If I close my eyes, I can practically hear the sound of Scout snoring softly and smell the earthy scent of Cormac’s cologne.
It’s enough to make my eyes sting.
I force my eyes open and sit up straighter, loosening my grip on the wheel.
Every sound feels too loud. Even my own breathing feels suspicious, like it might give me away.
If Lorcan is watching already, and I have no doubt he is, panic is the one thing I can’t afford.
I smooth my hands over my thighs, willing the tremor out of them, and check my reflection in the rearview mirror.
My face looks pale but composed. I don’t shed a single tear or show any cracks. Instead, I force myself to look like a woman who came here with a purpose, not one who’s silently rehearsing her own death.
As the minutes tick by, my thoughts drift to Amber, how happy she sounded when she told me the good news about her test results. The way her eyes lit up when I told her I would visit her and Skye again soon.
I can’t let this end with someone knocking on her door to tell her I won’t be coming at all.
I think of Scout next and how he’s become my little partner in crime when it comes to winding up his dad. I can’t imagine my life without him, but I know if I don’t walk away from this, in a few years, I’ll be nothing but a blurry memory to him.
But most of all, I think of Cormac.
I scan the parking lot for him even though I know it’s pointless.
I clock a white van, a couple arguing beside a station wagon, and an old man loading groceries into the trunk of a sedan.
Where are you, Cormac?
My stomach twists.
My life is quite literally in his hands.
That thought should comfort me, but instead, it makes me want to throw up because if this goes wrong, if Lorcan even suspects for a second that I’m double-crossing him, there won’t be time for Cormac to save me.
