Page 53 of Cautious Love

Ledger shakes his head. “And he didn’t dance with you once?”

I snort. “Nope, I was dancing with other men.”

Ledger’s brow lifts in surprise, and I swear his eyes are saying,if you were mine, another man wouldn’t even look at you, let alone touch you.

I’d love that — to be his. I suppose I am in a way, but not in the way it counts.

A girl can dream.

“Are you always this calm about… bad things?” I ask him.

He shrugs and stands up straight, placing both of his hands on the countertop. “Staying calm keeps your head on straight. In order for me to do my job and keep my people safe, my head has to be right.”

“I hope I didn’t uh, mess you up or something.”

The corners of his mouth tip up just slightly enough his mustache moves, and he says, “Far from it, you are my people, Shiloh.”

I’d like to be a lot more if you’d let me.

“Thanks,” I rasp.

He nods.

I rack my brain for more information, moresomethingthat could help Ledger without giving too much away, then it hits me. “You’re trying to get Kensington Sr., aren’t you? You’re going after his whole operation, that’s why…” I trail off. I don’t want to say it out loud, that’s why he won’t arrest Grey unless I press charges.

Ledger stares at me and he hasn’t confirmed or denied, but I can see the yes, in his eyes.

“I cannot discuss an ongoing investigation,” he says, instead.

“AmIa part of that investigation?”

His heavy stare rests on me and I shift under the weight. “I won’t keep pestering you, but if you think of something …”

“Yeah, I’ll tell you,” I mutter.

He raps his knuckles on the stone and heads for his bedroom. I remain in my seat, flipping through the years in my mind of Grey and I. Surprisingly, I don’t cry. Reliving and going over the past years of your life that feel like a waste should make me cry. But a little part of me is glad he cheated. Who knows how much longer I would have stayed with him then? I could have done without the beating. But it happened. It’s done. I survived.

While Ledger’s in the shower I decide to make us both dinner. I’m hungry, and he probably is too. Opening the fridge I reachfor a roll of ground beef and bile crawls up my throat as all the memories of that night come up like a geyser.

Forgetting the beef, I close my eyes and try to box away every detail of that day. There’s a reason I tried to forget.

“Hey, are you okay?” Ledger says placing his large warm hand on my back.

I nearly jump out of my skin and stand up straight.

“Yeah, yes. I’m fine,” I say a little breathless.

“Why were you standing like that? Are you light-headed? Should I call Tatum?” he asks.

“No, it’s okay. I was thinking.”

Turning around, I finally get a look at him in his sweatpants and t-shirt, highlighting his toned muscles.

“Did something come to you?” he asks.

I was hoping he’d let it drop, but if I’ve learned anything about Ledger, he is persistent in his consistency. I have to give him something or he’s not going to let it go. So I offer the partial truth.

“We were partying one night, and Grey asked me to use my car. He wasn’t drunk or anything. I thought it was odd, but I shrugged it off and told him to go for it.”