Page 32 of Cautious Love

“Did you ever want to leave Paxton?” I ask her. There was a day I thought about it, but my family is here, the ranch is here. I won’t be a sheriff my entire life, but I’ll be a cowboy forever.

“Yeah,” she sighs. “I thought maybe there was something bigger and better out there. Maybe where Grey and I could makegoodmoney, give our kids what we never had,” she says sadly. “There was a day when that dream kept me going. But…” she trails off and pushes her food around.

I don’t know why I say it, but I don’t like seeing her sad. She’s a spitfire, full of energy, and bites back. I like that about her. “It doesn’t mean you can’t still have that dream.”

She huffs. “With my husband?” she chuckles.

“No, I didn’t—”

She grins. “I’m messing with you, but yeah, maybe.”

“I didn’t want to leave Paxton, honestly, with my family you can’t. The ranch stays in the family. It doesn’t matter if you want a different career. I don’t mind it, but if I couldn’t leave Paxton, I wanted to do something else other than be a cowboy, at least for a bit.”

“So you wanted to be a lawman?” she asks, the corner of her mouth tipped up.

“And you wanted to be a criminal?” I throw back.

Shiloh throws her head back on a laugh and suddenly cuts it off, holding her side. “Don’t make me laugh.”

I roll my lips together. “I’m not known for doing that anyway.”

Shiloh snorts. “So you’re the Sheriff and a cowboy. That’s quite a combination.”

“Life is boring being one thing,” I say. It also helps with the loneliness. I have a great family and friends, but sometimes you’re on your own. There’s no one to come home to. It feels like there’s something missing. It’s as if everything is whole, but it’s not … complete. “I’d love to be one thing,” she whispers, avoiding eye contact.

“Why?”

She looks up and I really see it. The exhaustion on her face, the circles under her eyes. She’s working herself to the bone. But for what?

“Maybe it’s because I’ve had to be many for so long. I’m tired.”

I nod.

“Mollie-Mae asked about you,” Shiloh says, abruptly changing the subject.

“Is that right?”

“Yeah, I think she’s interested,” Shiloh says quickly.

“How do you come to that conclusion? Mollie-Mae is pretty, but I’m spoken for.”

Her cheeks turn pink and she pushes her food around.

“Has anyone asked you about your ring?”

“Yeah, Mollie-Mae did. We uh … we got to talking, and she noticed it so I told her she didn’t know you. But I changed the subject, asked her why she was interested, and then she started talking about how amazing your ass looked in your jeans when you came in that day. Then … what did she say?” Shiloh asks herself.

Then she snaps her fingers. “He has a mustache she’d like to ride.”

A snort burst from my nose, and I rub my face, hiding the embarrassment.

“I can hook y’all up if you want,” she says.

I rub my mustache and look her in the eye. “I’m flattered, but I’m not interested, and real or not, I wouldn’t do that to you.”

Shiloh smiles and leans back in her chair. “I appreciate that, but I’m well aware of what we are, ring or not.” Then she sobers. “Wait, were you dating someone before all of this?” she asks a little more shrill, wiggling her finger. “Am I the other woman? Or is she? Am I cockblocking you?” she asks, eyes wide.

I chuckle dryly and look at my hands. “No, I’m not dating anyone, and there’s noblockinggoing on. I’m simply not interested.”